Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Caught With My Pants Down



I had this girlfriend who was prominent and gave a lot of speeches. She got free hotels many times. One time she got this suite in a Chicago hotel. She gave me the key and told me to just lay around, order room service and have fun until she was done speaking. Then she would meet me up there for the sex with each other we were living for at the time. I roamed around this gigantic double suite penthouse. I walked through some doors and was very impressed with the amenities.

Suddenly. I had the urge to have a bowel movement. I opened the closest bathroom door and sat down for what I thought would be a very relaxing experience. Suddenly, I heard the outside door open to the room I was in. I heard people’s voices. I had thought I was in our main suite but I had wandered into an adjoining suite without knowing it. I was sitting on the toilet and too far away from the door to the bathroom to get up and close it. A second later a man and a woman were standing in front of the open bathroom door staring at me as I sat trying to finish this big crap. They looked at me astounded.

I blurted out that I had somehow ended up in this bathroom thinking it was part of the next room. I was sweating and apologizing. Worse, I still had unfinished business. It was so embarrassing until it got to be hysterically funny a few hours later. My girlfriend thought I was the world’s biggest fool as she listened to the story.

 The sex was even better that night.

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