COMPULSIVE GAMBLING: YOU ARE NOT ALONE

Compulsive gambling is a mental illness that cannot be cured but can be arrested. I’m 72 and have been abstinent since Jan. 9, 2009. You can stop gambling too.

It starts with the willingness to make a FREE phone call. The call can come from the gambler or loved one.

Your questions will be answered! Contact:

FLORIDA COUNCIL ON COMPULSIVE GAMBLING 888-236-4848

24/7/365 for FREE INFORMATION: Problem Gambling operates the National Problem Gambling Helpline Network (1-800-522-4700). The network is a single national access point to local resources for those seeking help for a gambling problem. The network consists of 28 call centers which provide resources and referrals for all 50 states, Canada and the US Virgin Islands. Help is available 24/7 and is 100% confidential. The National Problem Gambling Helpline Network also includes text and chat services. These features enable those who are gambling online or on their mobile phone to access help the same way they play. One call, text or chat will get you to problem gambling help anywhere in the U.S. 24/7/365. Help is also available via an online peer support forum at www.gamtalk.org.

COACH DAVE MAY BE THE PERSON TO TALK WITH

I am someone who understands inner torment and can connect to many people who suffer from depression, anxiety, and addictions. 

The right person and the right words can be critical to finding relief. 

I am a retired, single male of 72. I  understand people like me and may be able to help you. 

I am a lifelong sufferer of addiction including, ocd, impulse disorder, adhd,  compulsive gambling, sex and love junkie. 

I have tried it all and found talk therapy works best.

Contact me.

Coach Dave

Free 1 hour consultation

ANY SCHMUCK CAN BE A BEST SELLING WRITER

I can write a book. I think everyone has a good book somewhere in them.

I do not think it matters what the subject is. I think it is all about how interesting the story is based on how good a storyteller the author is. 

That is why one can look at the books stacking the shelves of bookstores and immediately realize that getting published is a combination of luck and timing. A few authors dominate the book space. 

Success is all about the voice of the writer. 

Can you keep people captivated with your experiences or knowledge? If so, write about stories are. 

Who knows?

By voice I mean the way the words are put together. Like a golfer every writer must make contact at the end of the swing. Attracting interest is the key to writing. It is the contact. 

I feel that pure talent has very little to do with writing success in terms of technique. Tons of writers with all kinds of degrees in journalism cannot make a nickel with the words they put out. 

Then, some schmuck tells a good story and gets famous.

I have written all kinds of fiction, and non-fiction stories on every imaginable topic which goes nowhere. I put my stuff out here, on some other sites, and send my stories to my friends and followers. I make very few nickels from what I write.

I admit I do not have formal writing training and I don't dedicate myself to continual writing. Fuck it. I am glad I do not have to make a living writing to survive.

It took me years to make $100.00 from Google Adsense which admittedly is a weak but FREE beginners platform.

I have written a lot of interesting things and I would love to get discovered. But, I am a 72 year old guy who has mostly surrendered to the fact that I am just another wanna be writer.

So, my blog is kingdavidsplace.blogspot.com

Come and visit me.

David

BULLIED: MY FRIEND THE GOLF COURSE BULLY

I always play golf on the weekends with a group of about eight guys. We are all personal friends some closer than others. 

I am very good friends with one of the guys. We are all between the ages of forty five and seventy two years old me being the oldest. 

I have experienced a lifetime of being bullied whether it is mental or physical. I've made a very big effort to stand up for myself with words and deeds. It is scary and tormenting to act when you are afraid but one must face fear when necessary.

Sometimes I succeed and many other times I do not in defending myself. Complicating things is my severe lifelong emotional disorder with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

Without going deep into an analysis of my particular condition which centers around fighting back when I feel victimized I will point out a case in point to explain exactly why I feel bullied right now.

The guy I am very close to is also a bully. His bullying tools are not his muscles but his mouth and alpha personality. 

I love this guy usually. We have a ton of fun and mutual understanding when he is not being an abusive asshole. I believe he really does not want to be a bully. 

I have called him out on it many times but bullying is baked into his personality. He has responded to my unprofessional but intelligent therapies to some degrees. But, not enough. 

We have disagreements and he gets defensive because he thinks I am bullying him with words and abstract concepts which are a problem for him. He thinks I am too smart which is not true. 

Anyway, he told me big words intimidate him so I try not to use them.

 Unlike him, I try to control my vocabulary when around him. He does not extend me the same sensitivity.

My main problem with him occurs on the golf course. He is a great golfer. I am a bad golfer who keeps on playing because I love the game, 

I do have moments of brilliance, and I love and hate playing with my bully friend who is both my cheering section and my relentless taskmaster when I do not follow his instructions or disagree with him. 

Last night I called another guy in the group who makes the golf time reservations. I played so badly yesterday and my back was so sore that I called him to cancel myself for today's game.

I wanted to make sure I was not causing a problem for anyone else in screwing up the times. He said no problem so I thanked him and went to sleep.  

Today, I awoke to find a text from my main tormentor. It simply had a thumbs down symbol on the message. My frenemy learned I cancelled out and did not know if I was sick, hurt, or just did not want to play. 

He did not care. 

He narcissistically reacted by punishing me. He likes me being out there because the guy strangely does love me. I have empathized with this man through many of his own issues where he needed comfort, and understanding. 

That mattered not when he saw I would not play today. To defend myself I left him a voice mail which he did not yet respond to. 

I also wrote him a text in which I said that if he sent the thumbs down symbol because of being very disappointed I will not be there that's one thing. 

If he sent it because he is angry that I blew off the game that is something else. 

I wrote that if you did it just to make me feel bad you lack empathy which is a subject we have discussed. 

We will see what happens. It's probably wasted words. 

So, that is my story this morning, I have decided to write about my experiences in my seventy two years of being victimized.

Being bullied has literally driven me crazy. It has also made me stronger and wiser. 

I will share stories and accept your stories if a bullying blog takes off.

I hope it does because we all have stories to tell and read about..

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER (OCD) STILL TORTURED AFTER 72 YEARS

How about some real time (OCD) obsessive compulsive disorder talk? I have been tormented and tortured by it almost my entire 72 male years. I have pure OCD as it is known. 

I do not need to keep checking the door to see of it is locked or checking the stove to see if it is turned off, or wash my hands a million times a day.

My misery is different. I must confront people who I think have insulted me. Fear is my constant companion because my whole deal is connected to confrontation. Doing fearful things so I can get the fearful thing off my mind are my boulders to carry.. 

So, if someone tells me to go fuck myself, or they say they think I stink at golf or if I feel that I must defend someone's honor who is a friend or loved one who has been insulted or abused, or the music next door is too loud or someone slams a door too hard or tons of other things happen than I become incapacitated. 

I sit and ruminate about what I can do to resolve the problem. I cannot function while my mind is pre-occupied with a thought of some act that I must perform that involves danger or personal harm to eliminate a problem..

My right eye was destroyed permanently by unnecessarily getting into a fight with some guy who was smacking around his girlfriend in the hallway of my apartment. The guy was hardly doing anything to this girl but he scared me just by looking at me so I did the only thing I knew to eliminate the fear I knew I would feel whenever I saw him. I hit him and he demolished me.

I tried to stop him verbally and when he swore at me instead of just walking back into my apartment I took a lame swing at him. He turned out to be a boxer who had just gotten released from jail for attempted murder. 

He busted me up and then my girl friend at the time took care of me for a few weeks and then threw me out for being so ignorant. She knew it was my OCD and not a sincere attempt to be a do gooder. 

That is just one story among many and I do not feel like writing much more tonight. 

I am in such an OCD state of mind for several months and I have such a litany of things on my mind that I cannot even phantom trying to resolve one OCD thought at a time. Because, I know that in attempting to resolve an irrational problem I may very well perpetuate it. 

I could spend twenty years trying to find a guy who insulted me a few months ago telling me to go fuck myself. 

Plus, I do not really want to find him because it's not about what he said that is the object of my OCD. It is about me letting go or just living with this OCD trigger.  

I just cannot deal with my OCD only through therapy, medicine, psychotherapy, meditation, or working out. 

Only by writing about it can I get relief. Writing works for me. It eases and temporarily eliminates OCD urges. And that is what an OCD sufferer wants. 

Relief.

I have been all tense because about 16 months ago I was playing softball and after the game, at lunch, I happened to make a remark about a political subject to two guys. 

I am liberal and one of the guys who is in charge of this men's basketball league is a Trump Republican. The other guy there is just the first guys puppet.

I mentioned something about Medicare that both tight asses took exception to. The main guy barked at me that there was no political talk allowed and he walked away from me at the restaurant. The puppet followed with a parting insult. 

I thought nothing of it until a few weeks later when I am at this restaurant again and see this same guy who decides to maliciously goad the other 10 or so guys at the table to not talk to me so I won't come back to lunch with them again. 

I walked over to both assholes to try to shake hands but both refused to. Well, that was 16 months ago and I have spent hundreds and maybe thousands of hours trying to figure out how I could make peace with both of those guys without escalating the situation and making it worse. 

Because once I start trying to resolve a perceived problem my OCD kicks in like crazy and I could be arrested for harassment or trespassing quickly by doing crazy things to get satisfaction. 

So this situation has meant sitting and ruminating everyday for ways I can make peace with both assholes without making it worse by confronting one or both of them and they still will not make peace and then I get physical. 

And, I am not tough and intimidating at all. It all has to do with how I was bullied and try to not get bullied anymore. All that is for another time so write in.

So, I have learned some very critical things about my OCD. If I do not do anything to try and make things right with these guys I will not end up making things worse and going into an OCD hell that I have lived through forever by trying to force them to resolve the issue.

I have learned that it is 100% better to just leave a situation alone rather than try to force it to bend to my will. 

That is a big understanding when the urge to try and work it out is so intense. But, I am safe by doing nothing and I do not have to act out . I just have tp live with the ocd urge and fix things from within like I am doing right now. 

 I know that I have OCD and there will always be more issues and more issues that torture me. But, I can only make things worse, as I have learned by acting out instead of sitting on my hands and being safe.  

Once upon a time I would be chasing these guys all over, even hiring private detectives so I could find them and try to get them to just shake hands.

So, I am writing about this because the answers do not lie with either of them. 

The answers lie in my tormented mind.

There is hope. But, OCD is ferocious.

I have improved.  

SEVENTY TWO YEAR OLD MALE WITH LIBIDO THAT VIAGRA CANNOT HELP

Sex and a seventy two year old healthy male? There is a question mark because I really do not know what happened to my once voracious libido.

I always was virile. Hot. Ready to get it on and make love with the right person who fortunately is still around. She is very sexy, uninhibited, and ready to make love.

I'm not.

My libido has disappeared. It started decreasing some years ago. Then, I discovered Viagra and its cousins. My penis danced around for several years firm and proud. 

I loved being hard like a sixteen year old artificially or not. My orgasms were still explosive. 

I constantly have needed my little blue helpers in increasing amounts for the last ten years. I did not care. With assistance my sex organ still worked like a well oiled machine. Maybe my sex drive decreased gradually but I could still have great sex. 

About six months ago my dick went south. Literally. The hard on pills stopped working as they always had. My sex drive decreased significantly. Bigger dosages of Viagra helped less and less.

Now, I cannot get it up regardless of whatever I do. Huge doses of Viagra on an empty stomach, sex toys, sleazy lingerie, everything I or she can think of I does not get me going.

The biggest problem is I have plain lost the desire. The urge is non-existent.  I am all squirted out it seems. 

I am done sexually and I want to miss it. But I don't.

I live a retired, relaxed, stress free life. So, take comfort compatriots.

Don't tell me or try to sell me magic creams, procedures, or anything else. 

I accept my fate.

OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER (OCD): IT IS JUST AN URGE

Obsessive, compulsive disorder is a brutal mental illness which affects a very small part of the population. In the US, about 1.1% of the people have it and it is evenly split between males and females. Over 2.2 million individuals are afflicted. It is so simple to understand but brutally hard to deal with.

The entire condition is based on thoughts. Just thoughts. So think different thoughts you say and you are cured.? 

Ha-ha !!

No. No. No.

Don't forget, just because you resolve one OCD symptom you do not get rid of the entire disorder. So, the trick is to learn how to deal with your OCD by not acting out in all the goofy ways you do now. Acting out does not work.

I am now having an urge to call someone on the phone which would likely create a problem. At minimum, it would start an OCD cycle where I would have to start calling and calling trying to get my problem with this person resolved.

The problem is I have no real problem with him. The problem is with my thoughts. 

That is reassuring and gives me relief.

I also know I am not going to create a problem with the crazy thought that I can end this perceived problem with a phone call. Maybe I could and maybe I couldn't. It doesn't matter. 

Another OCD problem would soon follow. There is relief in that knowledge. I am sick

So, I chose to write about this. Maybe it will help someone else. It is certainly helping me. My desire to call this guy has diminished.

Working out, talking, meditation, reading are all answers to coping with OCD.

Acting out does not work. I have the scars to prove it.

The stove might still be turned on or the lady did not respond right to your apology or or or. 

An external fix does not last.

In people with OCD thoughts get stuck in their head and most sufferers do not know how to deal with the torment. 

Ironically, the answer to how to deal with OCD is to not deal with it!! 

It is just an urge. It will decrease and go away if it is not fed, When you do not act on it than it starves.

But, and it is a big but, OCD urges are so overwhelming and intense that it is almost impossible to deal with them without knowledge of how to. 

Just to clarify, it is obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) whether it is to wash your hands again and again, check the lights. check that pimple again, touch your nose, count to ten, arrange your desk. check your toes. take a shower, ad to your hoarding collection, or perform any compulsion you feel an urgency to perform over and over. Again and again is the key word.

We are talking about checking for hours on end. We are talking about being soaked in sweat from anxiety when an OCD episode occurs. It can last for hours, days, weeks, months, or years.

Fear of harming yourself or another, fear of saying or doing something embarrassing or dangerous, or fear of anything or anybody in an abnormal way, needing constant reassurance that something was done right, and on and on are common obsessions.

When any thought consumes ones mind in a perpetual, non stop, disabling way it is usually from (OCD) obsessive compulsive disorder.

That means being so focused or consumed by a thought or urge that it owns you.

It can be about what you are going to eat three days from now or being afraid you will throw the dog down the steps.

I had an obsession about tin foil for years. I was afraid to bite down on the foil because I remembered it once hurt my teeth. Tin foil kept me in bed for days being depressed and not wanting to see any tin foil. Even after I had bit down on the foil and felt no pain I still, to this day, avoid chewing anything with tin foil on it.

I had another obsession when I was 25 years old. I thought I had prostate cancer. No matter how many times the Dr. checked me and told me nothing was wrong with my prostate I still demanded to be put in the hospital for a torturous test. The Dr, came in my room afterward and said

“You are fine. See a psychiatrist."

I am 72 now and I am not fine. 

But, I am much better.