DAVID'S PLACE:

Gambling. One of the nastiest monsters of the world. Feed it and it eats your soul. Starve it and it destroys your mind. To a real compulsive gambler the loss of gambling is good reason for perpetual mourning. Every ounce of desire in your body craves going back to gambling again. The adrenaline, the euphoria, the joy of knowing you will be in action is enough to inspire any gambler to gamble again or relapse no matter how much they have lost. I am not just talking about lost money. I am talking about lost health, family, and friends. About losing everything that matters. I gambled for over 50 years and lost it all. In the last nine years I have quit gambling and slowly rebuilt my life. Yet, I continue to long for my greatest friend and unconditional lover. Gambling. But I am no longer owned by that urge. I own it. But, I only own it one day at a time. So I stay on guard and keep working with other compulsive gamblers continually or I know I am doomed. Each day, I commit to not gamblin...

Updated September 17, 2023 The adrenaline, the euphoria, the joy of knowing you will be in action is enough to inspire any gambler to gamble again and again  no matter how much they have lost. I am not just talking about lost money. I am talking about lost health, family, and friends. About losing everything that matters. I gambled for over 60 years and lost it all. In the last 14 years I have quit gambling and slowly rebuilt my life. Yet, I continue to long for my greatest friend and unconditional lover.  Gambling. Now, I am no longer owned by that urge. I own it. But, I only own it only day at a time. So, I stay on guard and keep working with other compulsive gamblers continually or I know I am doomed. Each day I commit to not gambling that day and to get to the next day without making a bet. Compulsive gambling is an incurable, lifelong disease.That is the bad news. The good  news is the condition can be arrested. You can stop. It's not easy but it's much better...

  Compulsive gambler is a 67 year old male. He has not placed a bet in  8 years. He is set up for life. But, only if he does not gamble. He is thinking about giving into the urge.  So, I have been resisting the perpetual urge to start gambling again although I have been clean and sober for over six years  If I gamble my rich, trusting lover who has stuck with me will find out quickly even if I sneak it well.. Also, my kids and few close friends would immediately lose all respect for me and I would lose all trust from everyone else. I would be cutting myself off from the easiest life one could imagine.  I am covered financially by my very rich sugar momma only because I do not gamble. If I do gamble she would cut me off in a second. I would end up broke and living in the gutter. Now, I live in a penthouse and have plenty of money between driving a cab, making money from a promotional business, and getting social security. If I'm short of cash or want...

So I am sitting at my desk in my condo. I am still torn between betraying my lover/mother who takes care of me in every way. Emotionally, financially, and spiritually. Except, she is married to someone else and is out of town most of the winter. It's better when she is in town and keeps me out of this clinical depression. So, I have been resisting the perpetual urge to start gambling again although I have been clean and sober for over six years If I gamble she will find out quickly even if I sneak it. Also, my kids and few close friends would immediately lose all respect for me and lose all trust. I would be cutting myself off from the easiest life one could imagine. I have not gambled in over six years. I am covered financially by my very rich sugar momma only because I do not gamble. If I do gamble she would cut me off in a second. I would end up broke and living in the gutter. Now, I live in a penthouse and have plenty of money between driving a cab, making money from a prom...

Here I sit. I am a 66 year old male with absolutely no life. I have lived it already with very little success. I live nicely in a studio penthouse My old time rich ex-girlfriend pretty much supports me. I have enough money, with her constant help to be ver comfortable.  My health is OK although I do need prostate surgery eventually. I woke up this morning about 11.30.  I was going to get dressed and go to work. I work for a private taxi service. I have beenj divorced for 25 years. I have a family including 3 kids and 3 grandchildren but I am alone. I know many people from a life filled with owning a big business, playing ball, gambling,  and going out with many women.  Bu, I am so all alone now.. I decided to cook some pork chops I bought yesterday. Then, I did get dressed and ate the  pork chops. Instead of leaving I turned on the TV program Cops and have sat here for 3 hours watching episode after episode.. I am so depressed I cannot put it into other wo...

Gambling. One of the nastiest monsters of the world. Feed it and it eats your soul. Starve it and it destroys you mind. To a real compulsive gambler the loss of gambling is good reason for perpetual mourning. Every ounce of desire in your body craves going back to gambling again. The adrenalin, the euphoria, the joy of knowing you will be in action is enough to inspire any gambler no matter how much they have lost. I am not just talking about lost money. I am talking about lost health, family, friends. Losing your whole life. I have gambled for over 50 years and lost it all. In the last few years i have quit gambling and slowly rebuilt my life. Yet, I continue to long for my greatest friend and unconditional lover. Gambling. I was a very big gambler betting on sports, craps, and blackjack. I would win or lose thousands of dollars a day. I figured out that I have lost well over a million dollars in my life. Enough to destroy me financially, mentally, and emotionally. Yet the monster ...

I am a compulsive gambler. Do you know what that means? It means that I love gambling more then I love anything else. I have lost almost all of the money I have ever made. I am now 65 years old and struggling to get by. I should be a millionaire many times over. I should have the respect of my family, friends, and many others. Instead, I only have respect from people who are in the Gamblers Anonymous meetings I attend. I have not made a bet in over 4 years as of today. Yet, I struggle constantly to resist this evil demon that pollutes my soul. I work, read, write, see my family, friends yet I cannot be comfortable with a normal life. My desires lie deep in the hell called gambling. If I were given a billion dollars to use as i pleased I would lose it all gambling. That is because there ois no cure for compulsive gambling. We are stuck with an abnormal brain forever that craves the action that always leads back to self destruction. So, I live a life of desperation. I go to GA meeti...

I'm dying to gamble. It could be going to the casino and playing poker, slots, craps. It could be playing poker online. It could be betting on basketball, hockey, or anything at all. I will gamble on flipping coins for thousands of dollars.  I am a sick, degenerate compulsive gambler. Yet, I sit in my penthouse apartment writing, watching TV, talking on the phone and doing anything but gambling. Why don't I? considering the horrible urge I feel to  just do it. No. No. No.  I have not made a bet since January 9, 2009.  I don't intend to. Today. That is why I now have some money now, can sleep, can afford to support myself, have no bills that are late, no bookmakers chasing me, no credit card companies or banks hunting me down.and all the other problems that come with being a compulsive gambler. So, my painful effort to not give into my urge is part of the price that must be paid in return for the freedom of not being broke and miserable. I have to tell myself th...

What a wonderful day in Chicago. It's about noon on Tuesday and the snow is falling like crazy. I live 29 stories high in a fancy penthouse. I just went out shopping for food and prostate medicine since it appears the city will be buried for a few days. I have enough money to live on, good health, great kids. I am missing a woman in my life who I have been searching furiously for on www.match.com where I have  success even at 64. One problem. All of this does not allow me to do what I want to do most. I want to gamble. I am a compulsive gambler and despite being one of the luckiest men alive I miss my lover. The dice tables and poker tables are 40 minutes away and I cannot go to them. If I do gamble again I will probably lose everything. I know that. I know I cannot betray the trust I have been shown. So, I will write, work out, and keep hunting for a new lady. It is like being held in a penthouse jail with golden hand cuffs. I can do anything I want except bet. Life is so unfai...