DAVID'S PLACE:

There ought to be a law against people who go to a Starbucks bathroom, flush the toilet, turn on the hand blower, and then do not immediately open the door and leave.  It's so rude to professional Starbucks pissers who are listening to the hand dryer thinking they will be able to relieve themselves when the blower goes silent.  Just the other day I stopped at my favorite Starbucks which is on my delivery route. I had a fierce urge to take a piss. My old bladder was bursting.  I entered and looked at the single bathroom door and there was no one waiting to go in. Relief, I felt happy for a second. Then, I turned the handle of the door and it was locked. "Shit," I mumbled quietly.  I started swaying nervously waiting to hear the toilet flush. It did quickly, Then the hand blower started blasting away.  Ah. Thank goodness. Relief was a few seconds away. I then heard the blower turn off and I already had my hand on my zipper in anticipation of emptying my b...

Shit can happen at any time. When you are a 69 year old guy who is not in great health to begin with beware of potential failures in your major bodily systems especially the  gastrointestinal system (the bowels) when you do not have good control. I have had Irritable Bowel Syndrome, (IBS)  for a long time. That condition results in many episodes of stomach distress such as gas, bloating, constipation and diarrhea. Well, disaster struck a few days ago. I was driving on a busy Chicago st. when I felt bad gas pains. I knew diarrhea was coming quickly so I started looking for any structure with a toilet. I did not care where parked. I was ready to stop in the middle of the street. It was that bad. I spotted a building with a parking lot and pulled in. My load was about to explode as I opened the car door and bolted for the entrance of wherever I was.  I got about two steps and I knew I was a goner. The diarrhea exploded into my underwear soaking through my jeans. My stoma...