DAVID'S PLACE:

  OCD which stands for obsessive compulsive behavior is such a gigantic subject with so many tentacles that I will just speak to what I have learned through personal experience because all OCD sufferers share a common nucleus in their disease.  Fear.  It is the root of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It applies to all sufferers no matter how disconnected they are. We all share the same root cause. Fear.  Whether your OCD manifests itself through commonly understood actions like continual hand washing, checking the door lock, counting to 1000 before you can fall asleep, and thousands of other acts, or, if your OCD  lives strictly in your brain by unchangeable thoughts of hurting your friend, jumping across a pond of alligators, or challenging a prize fighter to a boxing match it's the same mental disorder. OCD is entirely rooted in fear of doing the unknown. Its an urge to perform some action to get relief.  An action to take away an urge ...

So I am sitting at my desk in my condo. I am still torn between betraying my lover/mother who takes care of me in every way. Emotionally, financially, and spiritually. Except, she is married to someone else and is out of town most of the winter. It's better when she is in town and keeps me out of this clinical depression. So, I have been resisting the perpetual urge to start gambling again although I have been clean and sober for over six years If I gamble she will find out quickly even if I sneak it. Also, my kids and few close friends would immediately lose all respect for me and lose all trust. I would be cutting myself off from the easiest life one could imagine. I have not gambled in over six years. I am covered financially by my very rich sugar momma only because I do not gamble. If I do gamble she would cut me off in a second. I would end up broke and living in the gutter. Now, I live in a penthouse and have plenty of money between driving a cab, making money from a prom...