DAVID'S PLACE:

  OCD which stands for obsessive compulsive behavior is such a gigantic subject with so many tentacles that I will just speak to what I have learned through personal experience because all OCD sufferers share a common nucleus in their disease.  Fear.  It is the root of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It applies to all sufferers no matter how disconnected they are. We all share the same root cause. Fear.  Whether your OCD manifests itself through commonly understood actions like continual hand washing, checking the door lock, counting to 1000 before you can fall asleep, and thousands of other acts, or, if your OCD  lives strictly in your brain by unchangeable thoughts of hurting your friend, jumping across a pond of alligators, or challenging a prize fighter to a boxing match it's the same mental disorder. OCD is entirely rooted in fear of doing the unknown. Its an urge to perform some action to get relief.  An action to take away an urge ...

George Floyd dying on the street under killer cop Derek Chauvin's knee resting casually and fatally on his neck is so tragic it becomes more heartbreaking each time the video of the over nine minute execution is played.  How, we ask, could this mad dog cop not have been stopped from killing Floyd in broad daylight with many bystanders and other cops surrounding the dying man and his police assessing?  Why couldn't one of the four cops right next to Derek Chauvin have been brave enough to push or hit Chauvin and knock him off Floyd? Because, each person there had a very good excuse for not acting like most people do when facing unexpected danger.  They were scared. They couldn't or wouldn't even try to stop the murder. They were following their instincts for self preservation and safety. They stayed out.   It is human nature to respond to most flight or fight situations by backing away and staying safe or finding safety. One only has to have experienced the terri...

It's computer dummy heaven today. I just figured out how to fix my laptop all by myself. It only required batteries but normally I would not have been able to even find where the batteries go. My new OCD mindfulness gave me a bonus. I am a 72 year old geezer but giddy as if I had just stolen my first high school kiss. A fortunate life has been my blessing. But, as my mother used to say, "your worst enemy cannot do to you what you can do to yourself." What a merciless self-assaulter I have been. We are talking mentally, The pain from a broken brain is ferocious. I remember trying to lay my dead tired eight-year-old body in bed and go to sleep. But I couldn't. The pillow would not line up to my satisfaction with a thin line on the headboard. So, I would keep popping up out of bed like a jumping jack for hours on end trying to set the pillow exactly the way I wanted it. I would finally just flop into the bed, drenched in sweat, and then pass out because my little body...

  Who has balls?  Balls used to be a source of pride and honor for anyone. Balls means marching into the jaws of fear and doing what you should or what you must do regardless of the consequences. Every person knows the feeling of fear. It is that sick, stomach rolling, feeling that grips your body because of the fear of doing something dangerous, scary, intimidating, or anything else that is frightening to do.  Having balls or no balls can be about either a physical or mental problem.  Some have an easier time finding balls and others are ferociously terrified. The feeling one has is not about how one feels.  Balls is only about what a person does in the moment of truth. It is all about fight or flight. Whether it is speaking truth to power or fighting with fists in the street, or facing sickness bravely, or telling off your boss, or anything else that requires that scary walk through the wall of fear it is all about the same thing. Balls. Balls is bal...

I always play golf on the weekends with a group of about eight guys. We are all personal friends some closer than others.  I am very good friends with one of the guys. We are all between the ages of forty five and seventy two years old me being the oldest.  I have experienced a lifetime of being bullied whether it is mental or physical. I've made a very big effort to stand up for myself with words and deeds. It is scary and tormenting to act when you are afraid but one must face fear when necessary. Sometimes I succeed and many other times I do not in defending myself. Complicating things is my severe lifelong emotional disorder with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Without going deep into an analysis of my particular condition which centers around fighting back when I feel victimized I will point out a case in point to explain exactly why I feel bullied right now. The guy I am very close to is also a bully. His bullying tools are not his muscles but his mouth and alpha pe...

How about some real time (OCD) obsessive compulsive disorder talk? I have been tormented and tortured by it almost my entire 72 male years. I have pure OCD as it is known.  I do not need to keep checking the door to see of it is locked or checking the stove to see if it is turned off, or wash my hands a million times a day. My misery is different. I must confront people who I think have insulted me. Fear is my constant companion because my whole deal is connected to confrontation. Doing fearful things so I can get the fearful thing off my mind are my boulders to carry..  So, if someone tells me to go fuck myself, or they say they think I stink at golf or if I feel that I must defend someone's honor who is a friend or loved one who has been insulted or abused, or the music next door is too loud or someone slams a door too hard or tons of other things happen than I become incapacitated.  I sit and ruminate about what I can do to resolve the problem. I cannot function while ...

Wonderful.  Trump goes on TV yesterday at his country club and tells a nation of people starving for cash money to live on that he has no date when they will get a check or how much, if anything, the check will be for?  The sum total of that big buffoons wasted speech to a sick, hungry, destitute country was to talk about nothing we want to hear about. No relevant virus talk, no relevant stimulus talk, no unemployment talk. The schmuck of the earth Donald J. Trump stood up there at his fancy ass country club and jagged us all off. He spent his useless time calling names and insulting his Democratic opponents. He talked politics. Politics. Can you imagine? We are drowning and asshole Trump talked about the color of the water.  He will not address the question of Putin's paid bounties for the killing of American soldiers. Putin must literally have Trump so totally intimidated and in fear of dreaded consequences if he bad mouths the Russian president that Trump is a tot...

Long ago, I was sitting in my office in a high rise building. It was a modern structure that presumably had excellent systems including reliable ventilation systems.  That is what I was told when I signed the lease. One summer day I entered the office and it seemed too hot. I checked the vents and no air was blowing out. I called the building office and reported the problem. The call taker apologized and said it would be fixed soon. A maintenance person would be coming up.  I have severe obsessive compulsive disorder (ocd). I started fixating on the glass entry door waiting impatiently for the maintenance person who did not appear after fifteen minutes. So, after an hour of being more and more preoccupied and watching for the door to open with the, maintenance person my familiar high anxiety set in. I felt hotter and hotter and started to sweat profusely. I became unable to think about or focus on the abundance of things that I needed to pay address to in my very busy lega...

Obsessive, compulsive disorder is a brutal mental illness which affects a very small part of the population.  In the US, about 1.1% of the people have it and it is evenly split between males and females. Over 2.2 million individuals are afflicted.  It is so simple to understand but brutally hard to deal with. The entire condition is based on thoughts.  Just thoughts.  So think different thoughts you say and you are cured.?  Ha-ha !! No. No. No. Don't forget, just because you resolve one OCD symptom you do not get rid of the entire disorder. So, the trick is to learn how to deal with your OCD by not acting out in all the goofy ways you do now.  Acting out does not work. I am now having an urge to call someone on the phone which would likely create a problem. At minimum, it would start an OCD cycle where I would have to start calling and calling trying to get my problem with this person resolved. The problem is I have no real problem with him. The problem is ...

I'm a 71 year old male and I have suffered from (obsessive compulsive disorder) (ocd) since I was about 8 years old.  A terrifying image of myself standing over my bed, dead tired, and continually jumping in and out of it but not being able to rest comes to mind.   I was tormented then because my pillow was not precisely centered along a thin line that ran vertically from the top to the bottom of the headboard. It was driving me crazy trying trying to center it perfectly.  I believed bad things would happen if I did not get it perfectly aligned. Fear and superstition were then and are still now the root of all obsessive compulsive disorders.   My tired little body was no match for my twisted mind which kept commanding me to get up again and again and line the pillow up better.   Sweat streamed down my face and soaked my pajamas as I continued to jump in and out of bed trying to get that uncooperative pillow aligned to the satisfaction of...

This country is going to shit. That piece of human garbage, Donald J. Trump is not only screwing up the entire country regarding his mis-management and idiotic actions regarding his presidency. He has also been inciting people violence against opposing people since the primaries. Trump is a moron who does know what to do as a politician. He only knows how to be a punk. He is not very good at anything except causing trouble.  We have big problems because of  dummy Don Trump. It is getting worse everyday he still is the president This goof thinks the press is the enemy. He feels so insecure and so inferior he can only do dumber and dumber things with his actions and his rhetoric which instigate criminal behavior among his supporters..  Cowardly Republicans must stand up to Trump and stop him. Trump cried like a baby when Sarah Sanders, Mitch McConnell, Kellyanne Conway, and a few other Trump supporters were verbally harassed at some public places. Now, murderous bombs a...

Many years ago I went to visit a friend in Arizona. I was in my forties. My older friend introduced me to his younger daughter who I knew previously on only a superficial basis. She had never looked very good to me.  She was too heavy. But, she had gotten in shape and was a knockout when shes passed by her dads swimming pool a day or so after I arrived to visit him. I told him that his daughter looked great and that I would like to go out with her. He called her and told her of my interest but she said she had no time because her and her boyfriend were on their way to a tennis tournament and would not be back in town for several days. "Oh shit" I thought. "Too bad".   Shortly thereafter  the phone rang. Her plans to go out of town with her boyfriend were cancelled due to an argument they had had. She asked her dad if "that guy still wanted to go out with her"? He told me of her interest.. He then put me on the phone with her. I said  "I would like t...

There was a bully by the name of Gary. He was the good old fashioned type who tried to intimidate anyone who would show any weakness. I met him in grade school. He was about twelve years old as was I. One day he was pitching softball in gym class. He made a slow pitch game into his own fast pitch game and started throwing balls at everyone's heads who came up to bat. He had a lot of kids scared to death.  He threw punches to our stomachs and heads. I was sick to my stomach with fear and he didn't even have me as a primary target.. No one hit back. He was like a blond haired, skinny monster who kept getting scarier and scarier as the school year went on. The day of reckoning did  come for Gary. He decided to challenge a really tough kid who was not a total bully but  a sometime bully who was a savage fighter. Gary told everyone he was not afraid of Jerry and wanted to meet him at the park to have a fight. The day of the fight came and it seemed that about 200 kids ...

I started to write down the names of all the people who have bullied me, both physically and psychologically, in my life and I realize that I could write forever about those experiences. It all started when I was a very little boy. I was afraid to fight back when I was harassed and soon everyone had my number. Even though I was popular and a good athlete bullies would find me and pick up on my vulnerability. So, eventually at school, in the playground, at a party or the movies, anywhere at all, a bully would test me and see that I would not stand up for myself. So, besides the shame and disgrace I felt then I would have to constantly be fearful of being around that guy. Hyper vigilance and constant anxiety became the cornerstones of my existence. I am now 65 years old and things have not changed except the ages of the people who test me to see if I will become their victim. I can still be easily intimidated if a bully knows what to say or do to get in my head. I have used so much...