DAVID'S PLACE:

How about some real time (OCD) obsessive compulsive disorder talk? I have been tormented and tortured by it almost my entire 72 male years. I have pure OCD as it is known.  I do not need to keep checking the door to see of it is locked or checking the stove to see if it is turned off, or wash my hands a million times a day. My misery is different. I must confront people who I think have insulted me. Fear is my constant companion because my whole deal is connected to confrontation. Doing fearful things so I can get the fearful thing off my mind are my boulders to carry..  So, if someone tells me to go fuck myself, or they say they think I stink at golf or if I feel that I must defend someone's honor who is a friend or loved one who has been insulted or abused, or the music next door is too loud or someone slams a door too hard or tons of other things happen than I become incapacitated.  I sit and ruminate about what I can do to resolve the problem. I cannot function while ...

I am celebrating today. My obsessive compulsive mind is clear. It's a miracle. I am old now and have been perpetually  plagued each day with one OCD thought or another for 50 years.  The problem for me are the thoughts I feel I have to act out on to relieve the overwhelming anxiety that keeps me in bed many days and keeps me swallowing valiums and xanaxes to function at all.. But, not today. Today, thankfully my mind is clear. So far. I have no obsessive thoughts tormenting me. I have no dangerous missions to accomplish such as confronting someone who offended me.  I am savoring this moment. There was a guy who I had insulted and I humiliated who said he would never forgive me. I could not stand the mental anguish and fear of knowing his feelings. I had to get his forgiveness. I was afraid to go where he went, to see his car, to talk to others who know him simply because all of those triggered a feeling of needing to apologize to him which I thought would make it wo...

They say write wriite write.  So, here I go again. Hillary Clinton  was apparently miappropriating funds sent to the Clinton charitable foundation. Impossible!! The 33K emails she deleted was ok with me. That seemed like business. Unseemly, but business.                 I understand that. But, I do not get stealing charitable contributions. Unconscionable. I still believe Clinton is the best choice for President because Trump is a total incompetent idiot with severe emotional problems. He would destroy the country. But, Hillary, tell me it ain't so.

I live in a convertible studio on the top floor of a high rise in Chicago. I treasure my quiet, insulated space because I get freaked out so easily by noise, barking dogs, or any other disturbance that upsets my tranquility. It is all from my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that causes me to interpret any intrusion as a threat to my peace of mind. Therefore, if a neighbor made noise by playing loud music or walking loudly on the floor above I would always be listening for the noise. I would feel I had to confront that person about the problem that I perceived. If it turned out to be a kind, friendly person who apologized I would no longer care about the noise. If it was a neighbor who acted angry or indifferent towards my complaint then the problem would only bother me more. This aspect of my OCD has led to endless anxiety and many confrontations with people. The problem is really not about the "noise". It is about me feeling victimized or bullied, my lifelong obsession. ...