Jackammer Drills Into OCD Victims Head
I live in a convertible studio on the top floor of a high rise in Chicago. I treasure my quiet, insulated space because I get freaked out so easily by noise, barking dogs, or any other disturbance that upsets my tranquility.
It is all from my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that causes me to interpret any intrusion as a threat to my peace of mind. Therefore, if a neighbor made noise by playing loud music or walking loudly on the floor above I would always be listening for the noise. I would feel I had to confront that person about the problem that I perceived.
If it turned out to be a kind, friendly person who apologized I would no longer care about the noise. If it was a neighbor who acted angry or indifferent towards my complaint then the problem would only bother me more. This aspect of my OCD has led to endless anxiety and many confrontations with people. The problem is really not about the "noise". It is about me feeling victimized or bullied, my lifelong obsession.
I have been living in this condominium for over four years. Until last week I had never had any problem with my new next door neighbor who had just moved in a few months before. I talked to this nice young lady only one time to ask her to not close her door so loudly early in the morning when she went to work. The door closing woke me up because it is located next to the wall my bed is next to. She said sorry and I never heard the door close loudly again and forgot about this annoyance.
A few days ago I was awakened to the head banging sound of a jackhammer blasting away into the attached wall. I couldn't believe what was happening. I walked out into the hallway and heard the sounds of men working and jackhammering in the next door apartment.
I knocked on the door and one of the building foreman working there I know opened it. He told me the condo had been sold and there would be construction going on until the end of the day. I told him that the noise was going to drive me crazy because I am home all day in my home office.
I left and was beside myself with anxiety. What if the project was not over at the end of the day? Who would the new neighbor be? But, OK I thought, it will be over at the end of the day. Somehow, I did not believe him.
I left and came back home at the next day and the jackhammer was still exploding noise into my wall. I went next door again and asked the foreman why the noise was still continuing, The foreman then told me that I should not worry. The noise would be over soon., . I said "you told me it would be over yesterday"
"You didn't say anything about this going on today also."
He said that I had misunderstood him. The jackhammering should have been done the day before but the crew was late. He said it would be done within a few hours. He apologized I asked " What about the rest of the job"? He said the entire job would take two weeks. I said what is involved. He said "Just normal construction, nothing very disturbing." You will hear very little." I felt lied to again.
I said "I want to go down to the office and talk to the building manager". He said "fine, lets go". We did and the office did not even know there was construction going on in that space and told the foreman to provide the proper papers and get construction approval. The foreman said OK and he left. Nobody would discuss noise when I protested..
So, I had a new problem which was the job would be lasting two weeks. Also, I started to worry about the foreman being mad at me and making the noise worse whenever he could. I had always gotten along with him. Not now.
I was told by the building manager the building rules allowed for construction in apartments between 9 am and 5 pm Monday through Saturday. Period.
I could not sleep all night waiting for the noise to start the next day.. I also had an appointment with a new shrink that same morning to go to. I ended up getting a few hours of bad sleep because I was on fire with anxiety. I left before 9am tortured with anxiety about loud noise I knew I would hear when I returned home.
I ended up introducing myself to this new shrink and immediately launching into a whole hour about this jackhammer issue and all the related situations like this one that have dominated my life and caused me to be continually wracked with anxiety. The shrink listened and then told me he could not help me immediately. I asked for a medicine like Prozac, an SSRI, (brain pill in plain English) which I had resisted taking again for years because of side effects I had experienced long ago. I was ready again.
He said he had to see me again to understand more before prescribing medicine. He did give me some good advice reinforcing what I already knew which was that none of my concerns about noises had anything to do with the real issue of low self esteem and my definition of being victimized and my concept of manhood..
I went back home and heard loud noises but no jackhammering. I lasted about fifteen minutes listening to the screech of drills and the pounding of hammers. I again knocked on the door and the foreman opened it. His facial expression indicated he had had enough of me.
I said I needed to talk to him again outside and gave him a cash Christmas present to sweeten him up. I said "the noise is loud and it is very disturbing which is not what you said" He said "let me show you" and took me into the apartment to show me exactly what was being done.
As he did that I started to lose some of the anxiety I had built up. Soon I was back in my apartment concentrating on working and didn't even care about the noise.
It is Christmas day today and the apartment next door is silent. I keep listening for noises that I envision could be coming from the new owner who I saw had left some cleaning supplies. I am worried about any possible confrontations with this person who is the new owner.
I asked the foreman questions about the new owner and he said he knew very little except he was a young man.. I automatically started thinking about parties, noise, loud music and wished I could just make friends with this new owner..
The life of a person with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is miserable.
It is all from my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that causes me to interpret any intrusion as a threat to my peace of mind. Therefore, if a neighbor made noise by playing loud music or walking loudly on the floor above I would always be listening for the noise. I would feel I had to confront that person about the problem that I perceived.
If it turned out to be a kind, friendly person who apologized I would no longer care about the noise. If it was a neighbor who acted angry or indifferent towards my complaint then the problem would only bother me more. This aspect of my OCD has led to endless anxiety and many confrontations with people. The problem is really not about the "noise". It is about me feeling victimized or bullied, my lifelong obsession.
I have been living in this condominium for over four years. Until last week I had never had any problem with my new next door neighbor who had just moved in a few months before. I talked to this nice young lady only one time to ask her to not close her door so loudly early in the morning when she went to work. The door closing woke me up because it is located next to the wall my bed is next to. She said sorry and I never heard the door close loudly again and forgot about this annoyance.
A few days ago I was awakened to the head banging sound of a jackhammer blasting away into the attached wall. I couldn't believe what was happening. I walked out into the hallway and heard the sounds of men working and jackhammering in the next door apartment.
I knocked on the door and one of the building foreman working there I know opened it. He told me the condo had been sold and there would be construction going on until the end of the day. I told him that the noise was going to drive me crazy because I am home all day in my home office.
I left and was beside myself with anxiety. What if the project was not over at the end of the day? Who would the new neighbor be? But, OK I thought, it will be over at the end of the day. Somehow, I did not believe him.
I left and came back home at the next day and the jackhammer was still exploding noise into my wall. I went next door again and asked the foreman why the noise was still continuing, The foreman then told me that I should not worry. The noise would be over soon., . I said "you told me it would be over yesterday"
"You didn't say anything about this going on today also."
He said that I had misunderstood him. The jackhammering should have been done the day before but the crew was late. He said it would be done within a few hours. He apologized I asked " What about the rest of the job"? He said the entire job would take two weeks. I said what is involved. He said "Just normal construction, nothing very disturbing." You will hear very little." I felt lied to again.
I said "I want to go down to the office and talk to the building manager". He said "fine, lets go". We did and the office did not even know there was construction going on in that space and told the foreman to provide the proper papers and get construction approval. The foreman said OK and he left. Nobody would discuss noise when I protested..
So, I had a new problem which was the job would be lasting two weeks. Also, I started to worry about the foreman being mad at me and making the noise worse whenever he could. I had always gotten along with him. Not now.
I was told by the building manager the building rules allowed for construction in apartments between 9 am and 5 pm Monday through Saturday. Period.
I could not sleep all night waiting for the noise to start the next day.. I also had an appointment with a new shrink that same morning to go to. I ended up getting a few hours of bad sleep because I was on fire with anxiety. I left before 9am tortured with anxiety about loud noise I knew I would hear when I returned home.
I ended up introducing myself to this new shrink and immediately launching into a whole hour about this jackhammer issue and all the related situations like this one that have dominated my life and caused me to be continually wracked with anxiety. The shrink listened and then told me he could not help me immediately. I asked for a medicine like Prozac, an SSRI, (brain pill in plain English) which I had resisted taking again for years because of side effects I had experienced long ago. I was ready again.
He said he had to see me again to understand more before prescribing medicine. He did give me some good advice reinforcing what I already knew which was that none of my concerns about noises had anything to do with the real issue of low self esteem and my definition of being victimized and my concept of manhood..
I went back home and heard loud noises but no jackhammering. I lasted about fifteen minutes listening to the screech of drills and the pounding of hammers. I again knocked on the door and the foreman opened it. His facial expression indicated he had had enough of me.
I said I needed to talk to him again outside and gave him a cash Christmas present to sweeten him up. I said "the noise is loud and it is very disturbing which is not what you said" He said "let me show you" and took me into the apartment to show me exactly what was being done.
As he did that I started to lose some of the anxiety I had built up. Soon I was back in my apartment concentrating on working and didn't even care about the noise.
It is Christmas day today and the apartment next door is silent. I keep listening for noises that I envision could be coming from the new owner who I saw had left some cleaning supplies. I am worried about any possible confrontations with this person who is the new owner.
I asked the foreman questions about the new owner and he said he knew very little except he was a young man.. I automatically started thinking about parties, noise, loud music and wished I could just make friends with this new owner..
The life of a person with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is miserable.
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