Tips On How To Sell Advertising Space

When attempting to sell low cost print advertising the salesperson should keep in mind a few guidelines to be followed. Always remember that persistence is the critical component when selling advertising space. Develop a canned formula for the aspects of your pitch that allow for it. Learn what to say in response to any question or challenge. Only training, experience and practice will succeed .

1- Make sure you are speaking to a person who has the authority to spend the advertising money.That is, if you are calling an auto dealership on the phone find out immediately whom the person is that makes the advertising decisions. That question should be asked to the person who picks up the phone. You need names .
An operator or receptionist usually knows exactly who does what in the various departments of any business. It 's simple. Just ask "Who is the person who buys the advertising ?" Also, get the extension of the buyer. You will need it later.

If you cannot get through to the buyer then the next time you call you will be able to directly dial that person. Ask for the name quickly if the buyer is not available. You need to be fast before you get sent to voice mail.That saves steps later. Selling advertising is a numbers game. The more calls you make the more sales you will make.

2- If the operator transfers you to the person who buys introduce yourself quickly by first name only and whom you represent. Don't ask if they have a minute to talk. Just start talking. You can overwhelm some prospects who are too polite to hang up on you and get a pitch going. Or, they may cut you off. It's all part of the sales game. Just be polite

If you open the conversation in an interesting way you can get lucky even with a reluctant person. You can get them engaged . Plan your opening words with catchy sentences . "I've got something great to tell you " is a good opener. Who does not want to hear more after that ? I have hooked many buyers with those words just as they were about to cut me off.


You, as a salesman must also be a buyer at times. Jump at any opening the buyer gives you. You must buy enough time with your words to deliver your pitch completely. Getting an unexpected opportunity to deliver your pitch can be a major stroke of good fortune. Be prepared to pitch at all times. Intelligent give and take will enable you to move the buyer along in the process of getting them to say "YES".

Give any buyer you talk to a few fast facts about your circulation, audience, or anything you determine that is critical to the sale. Then, pause and ask for any questions the buyer may have. Do not get wordy. You only have a short window of opportunity to make your case.Then, be quiet and wait for a response. Try to be prepared with an answer to any objection or question.. You will hear them all after about 500 calls. Take notes and review them constantly. Each call made should be a learning experience .Notes are invaluable.


3- When you talk to the buyer do not talk price until the time is right. Buyers like to ask for prices quickly. Once you quote a price the game is over. The buyer can conveniently tell you they will get back to you in the future. That is usually the kiss of death when selling low priced items such as local print advertising. Talking price before you even have had a chance to present facts and information will usually spell doom to your sales efforts. You want to make your case. You are not initially selling based on cost. You are first trying to establish value.

When the buyer starts asking questions you are on the path to a sale. Answer questions in short sentences and start to try to close the sale at the same time. You will not lose the buyer once he or she is interested .The buyer is hot when the questions start coming at you.
When asked for a price respond with another question that will give you more insight into the buyers mind . A good answer is "This cannot be about the money." "We are talking about whether the advertising will work" Immediately ask "What size ad would you be interested in or what amount of circulation are you looking for?" Get that buyer engaged in what they will get for their purchase besides a bill.
Figure out what the buyers real interest is. Where has the buyer been disappointed in the past ? What is the buyers primary interest in your product ? Get into that buyers head.
You want to hit the buyers hot button or create a hot button that will give you a chance to make a sale Then, you need ready answers to anything the buyer should be told..

You, as a salesman must also be a buyer at times.You must buy enough time with your words to deliver your pitch completely. That can be hard considering it is a world of sound bites. You must be ready, Intelligent give and take will enable you to move the buyer along in the process of getting them to say "YES".
When you are in sync with the buyer and know you have what that person wants put your head down and go for the goal line. Get into your closing mode,
Then, it's time to talk about prices. Get the costs in play. Put them out there. Don't be afraid. Ask for the sale. Start closing with passion as if the buyer were getting a great opportunity. Pound at the advantages of your product in short sentences. Again, do not get wordy but keep making strong, clear selling points. Remember to keep asking for the sale whenever you can create an opening. Prepare to defend and support every price you quote. Expand the value of your product as much as possible.
The buyer may then get very serious about getting a discount. He or she is thinking about how little you will take for your product. That is the nature of selling small newspaper advertising and also selling many other inexpensive, subjective, discretionary products . Remember, advertising is a gamble and every buyer knows it. Buyers always want to gamble for low stakes at first. They may talk about the price again.
OK. Maybe you can offer a discount but only if the buyer agrees to close the deal right now in exchange for it. Shoot out a slightly lower price. Stand fast on your price and defend it until you feel the time is right to lower it again. That 's a judgement call assuming you have the discretion to negotiate .

4- If you cannot make a winning case to the buyer and are rejected then use the temporary rejection correctly. Ask the buyer when the best time to get back to them will be. Tell them you will send them an email summarizing the conversation containing your contact information.Thank the buyer for their time .
Do not start thinking that turning the buyer into a captive audience before you end the conversation will work. Stop talking about your product. It will only get you rejected the next time quickly. Accept your temporary setback graciously and make friendly small talk. Learn what you can from the attempted sale .
5- Back at the office sit down and review the conversation you had with the buyer. Look at your notes and add more thoughts. Consider any points you did not make. Practice what you would do differently if given another chance. Keep learning because the same situations come up over and over again.
It eventually gets easy to instill the things I have mentioned in your sales repertoire without even thinking. You will become smooth as butter when you have been involved in enough sales opportunities. What seems difficult now will turn into a slam dunk later..
Just keep calling, learning and selling , You will close deals and make money.
You may become a millionaire after turning yourself into a sales machine as many others have who are just like you.
Go get em..
Be persistent. Persistence trumps everything else in selling..
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Long Shot Lover Goes Ballistic

                                              Online Lovers Nightmare

I saw this beautiful black haired woman on an online dating site. She was about 45, tall, and classy looking. Her profile said she lived in a fancy suburb outside Chicago, and that she was divorced and had no kids living at home. Perfect person for me, an inveterate professional online dating love junkie 55 years old, good looking, smooth talking and a great hustler of women.

 I sent her an email on match.com which is the online site. She saw my profile and which showed my pictures, age, religion, income, likes and dislikes. All the stuff that is supposed to matter. It may to some. Pictures and not having kids living at home and a convenient location are the only things that matter to me.

She sent her phone number and we chatted briefly and then she told me that she was going to be at this bar a few nights later to meet a girl friend. I asked if I could meet her before her girlfriend got there and she said yes. But, I would only have about 20 minutes to impress her because when her girlfriend showed up I had to leave. What a great bitch!!

I was in love immediately. I was as excited as I got dressed in my only Calvin Klein jeans and only polo shirt. See, I am an online fraud. A guy who has nothing because of gambling and bad investments but who loves to chase women and act like I’m solid personally and financially when in fact I am a mess. The, maybe I find a sugar mama here and there.

I sped to this restaurant in the North Shore and there she was sitting at the bar looking even better then her pictures. I introduced myself and she initially appeared, from her body language, not be attracted me. She said good try but we were not a match. Then, her girlfriend came and sat down. Meanwhile, I was struggling to find a way to get Trudy captivated and couldn’t. Her girlfriend however saved me by starting to talk to some guy and the pressure to for me to leave abated.

I kept working Trudy psychologically to seduce her mind and body until I could feel her really look at me as I was telling another story. Her eyes twinkled. I knew she was interested. I asked if I still had to go send she said no, not now because her girlfriend was intensely engaged  in a conversation with the guy. So, I just keep on talking to Trudy and pretty soon she stopped looking at her girlfriend and other people and got close to my face and only saw me.

An hour later I asked her if she wanted to take a ride and go to another bar. She said yes after checking with her girlfriend who did not care. She was still involved with this guy. When we got into my car I tried to kiss Trudy and she said no. Easy boy. We went to another bar and stayed till 4 in the morning. I then dropped her off at her car and we agreed to see each other soon. I was totally in love. My love junkie addiction was triggered along with my survival instincts. I had very little money. But, I was walking on the clouds.

I called the next day and we talked for hours. We made plans to go out together for dinner. We went out a few more times with me continually trying to get her turned on but the most that ever happened was hot kissing. I could not afford her. After about a month she finally invited me in her house and we sat by the fire place and made out more only this time we got into petting. Well, we petted and petted for weeks until we had done everything imaginable . We would have some wine, smoke reefer, and swallow each other up endlessly with necking and petting.

But, the bedroom was always waiting upstairs and she would never take me there. Finally, in the midst of being in the throws of passion on the couch she stood up, pointed her finger at the stairs leading to the bedroom. We jumped in bed and fucked all night and all the next day. She came and came and came. She was totally selfish and cared nothing about my satisfaction. She just wanted me to do her right. I did. She said I was the greatest lover in her long history and maybe in the world. This went on for months.

She never let me stay over, never offered any food, and was completely critical of everything I did besides how I made love to her, She never shared any intimacies with me. She was a plain and simple spoiled, sarcastic bitch. But, it was fun getting to her sexually.

She called me the million dollar baby because she thought I was such a long shot to ever end up being her lover we met. She continually questioned out loud how she could be as turned on to someone as not classy, uneducated, and as unsuccessful as me because I was not a professional like she was used to being with..

But, she loved the way I got her off and we literally spent the whole fall season in her bed eventually not even going out. Just wine, dope, and her bed and then me getting kicked out every time afterward. No kindness from her, no appreciation, no invitations for anything more then banging her. Somehow, it all felt perfect though. I loved the torture of not getting all of her when I still thought I wanted to.

So, we finally decided to leave the confines of her bedroom to go somewhere else to fuck. We set up a trip to a small town bed and breakfast. On the way there I happened to disagree with her about some minor issue. The bitch would not talk to me for 2 hours until we got to the bed and breakfast. She threw a total tantrum of silence.. Finally, we got to the bed and breakfast and  went out to dinner. We were still hardly talking.

When the check came I asked her to pay for half the bill since she had belligerently agreed to pay for half the vacation. She literally threw a couple hundred dollar bills at me as if I were garbage. I said thank you very gently to torment her. She wanted to fight.. Suddenly, I saw only the poison behind her great looks. We came back to the inn and had angry sex and went to sleep.

The next morning she wanted to go for a ride in the sand dunes right near by. I thought it was a bad idea because it was storming and freezing and we could get stuck on the beach. She demanded we go anyway. Sure enough, there we were stuck on a beach trapped in a giant sand dune with no help around. The more I tried to get out of the dune the deeper I got stuck. There were a few four wheelers driving around because it was treacherous on this beach. Hardly anyone was out

Finally, a ranger came by and tried to help. Trudy said that I would never be able to follow his directions as he chained his vehicle to my car to pull me out. Trudy demanded I let her drive. At the same time she was yelling at me the ranger was trying to tell me what to do. So, as that nasty head of hers was babbling in my one ear about how stupid I was to get stuck the ranger was yelling instructions from his vehicle on how to get out.

. I finally screamed loudly at Trudy to shut the fuck up calling her a fucking bitch. She was shocked as if no one had ever spoken to her that way. We finally got out of the dune. As soon as we hit the road Trudy jumped out of the car which was literally in the middle of nowhere. Some other guys were driving by and she stuck her thumb out to hitch a ride as I followed. She got in their truck and I chased them. I really did not care about this bitch anymore but I could not just leave her in that truck and drive away. What if something happened?  We were a hundred miles from Chicago in a torrential storm. I was actually afraid for her.

Finally, I pulled up beside the guys driving her and explained that she was crazy and they had to get her out of their truck.. They did and after twenty minutes of her walking her fancy ass down the road she was too frozen to continue and got back in my car. Finally, she broke the silence with a rant about how she could have gotten us out of the dune without any help.

She screamed on and on. I just wanted to get her back home again because now she was nothing more then a lunatic out of an Alfred Hitchcock movie. But we were two hours from home. I still had not said a word back to her.

Suddenly, she violently shook her finger at my face and asked why I had screamed up, you fucking bitch at her. I said because she was a fucking bitch.

She then punched me in the side of the face as I was driving. I knew our fate was sealed then for sure and beyond redemption. Someone who resorts to violence will do it again and again.

I said not a word afterward. She had not hurt me. I finally got her within a few blocks of her house. She started to talk to me again. To try and bail out. She said about herself that maybe I need to get some help.

Will I forgive her?

I still said nothing as I finally pulled into her driveway. She called me several times afterward and I would not talk to her giving her no reinforcement for stalking me or other craziness I realized she was capable of.

I think I might be hurt or dead if I was still with this piece of crap, insane demented beauty. There are many fatal attractions out there.

Be careful

Sex Stories For Feedback

I could tell you many stories about torrid affairs I have had in my 65 years. I am thinking about devoting an entire blog to the multitude of sexual experiences I have had with all kinds of women . But, that gets boring unless I feel someone is reading this blog.

I need some encouragement or I will continue to think I am writing to myself. Where are all the responses? Anyone with a great story you want to tell and still remain anonymous?

Feedback please so I don't have to go find a real job.
                                    
                                                     Thanks

Perfect Woman Turns Him Off

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I met Lola when I was 45 and she was 40 years old. She was a beautiful blond with an amazingly big rack. She looked like a Hollywood celebrity except in her heart she was just a nice, divorced, Jewish mommy looking for love. She had called a few weeks before soliciting me for business. She sold collection services and sounded great.

I told her I probably wouldn't buy her services but maybe she should come in anyway because I wanted to meet her and I would listen to her pitch. I told her that maybe she might think of working for my well known newspaper.  I always tried to hire anyone who sounded good on the phone and was trying to sell me anything. So, I made gave her an invitation to drop in anytime she was in the neighborhood.

I got a call  from my secretary Joan.one morning shortly thereafter waking me up. She said there was a woman at my office who said I invited to meet me. Joan said her name was Lola. I didn't even remember talking to her. I asked Julie how Lola looked and Joan said she was hot. I was a total pig back then. I asked Joan to discreetly look at Lola's hand and see if she had a ring on.

 Next thing I hear is idiotic Joan yelling out  “He wants to know if you're married?  I gasped at Joan's stupidity. Then I heard this person say “ Tell him I'm happily divorced”. I jumped into the shower and then raced to work. I walked in and saw  this beautiful bomb sitting there waiting.  I nearly fell over when I looked at her. I was immediately in love. We talked a minute and I knew she was also attracted.

We ate lunch that day, went out a few times, made crazy love on our first date and moved in together a month later. She did keep her condo though. She loved to cook, clean, or just hang out. Most of all she loved to make love to me. Endlessly. She was so hot I was losing weight from banging her constantly. Lola's eyes sparkled when she looked at me.

Quickly, I knew that she had developed a loyal, honest,and deep attachment to me That scared me. I was still interested in playing around and she just did not really do it for me. She was too nice and loved me too much. I missed the abuse and aggravation I always received from other women. Also, I really was not that sexually attracted to her. The sweet part of her just turned me off after a while.

We went back and forth for several years. She would move in and out of my house. I would always hurt her by cheating and she would always know just by intuition. We could not stand that. We even got engaged once. Still, I could never really get a thing for her. I know it was all mental. I have always liked sarcastic, hard bitten, very sexual women. She was too good and kind.  She gave me her heart and soul for 3 years

She was too perfect to leave and I would talk myself into thinking I could love her time after time. It never happened. Then, we would split up again. It was never her fault. I was a dick but I always was nice and generous to her. I truly like her.

In fact, we just went out a few months ago and tried again. She cooked a meal for me and told me to come to bed. We slept together but did nothing sexual even though she wore a gorgeous negligee and tried like crazy to turn me on..

We slept, had a sad breakfast, and another absolutely final good bye. 

Sweet Lola..

Crabs Scratch A Hot Night

First time I lost my virginity was back in 1967 in a whorehouse in Peoria, IL.  I was with a bunch of guys on New Years Eve and we decided to drive up to this house of ill repute. I was really nervous. I was still a virgin.  My sexual experiences were mostly hand jobs from my trustworthy high school girl friend. I thought I was one of the only guys to not have done the real thing. So, we entered this prostitution house and I looked around at several available women all in negligees.They were just sitting around on display.

 I saw an African American who was so hot with big tits and long legs. She kind of looked like Eartha Kitt. I pointed to her and she got up and she took me to a little room with a small bed. It did not smell good in that room but we did the deed after a little performance anxiety by me.

I strutted out to my friends who were already finished with their ladies. I had a big smile on my face.We left and had some food and drinks celebrating our accomplishment. The cost was only fifteen bucks as I remember.

 Well, I was a freshman in college living in a dorm at the time. I lived with my best friend from Chicago. He had not come to Peoria.  I told him all about my experience and I could tell he was slightly jealous.

A few days passed and I started to itch around my testicles.The itching got much worse and I did not know what was causing the problem. I was walking around scratching like crazy. My high school girlfriend was coming up to visit me that weekend. We checked into a motel and started to make love. i had finally talked her into going "All the way".

 I could not hump for thirty seconds without stopping to scratch. Finally, she said  "What is wrong with you? I said I did not know but that I had been itching continually for days. She was studying to be a lab technician at the time. She told me she wanted to take a look at the area around my scrotum. She pulled  a lamp down to take a good look. i pulled my legs apart so she could examine me. She looked hard then moved her fingers around my testicles and started to probe.

All of a sudden I saw her snatch up something small and moving with wings on it. She held it up between her fingers to show me She shrieked "You have crabs". I freaked out. Little wings spread. I had never heard of crabs. Then she got very angry telling me that someone can only get crabs from sexual intercourse and that I had cheated..

 I admitted that I had gone to this whorehouse in Peoria a few weeks before. I did not care about what she thought. I was scared to death thinking these crabs were really dangerous. I called the local hospital in the middle of the night and started blurting out my story and asked what to do. The Dr. said to go to the pharmacy and buy this lotion sold over the counter.that would kill the crabs but he also said I had to boil all my clothes, sheets, and just about everything else I owned.

I told my girlfriend to stay in the room until tho next day when she was supposed to drive home..

I immediately went back to the dorm and started to gather up all my sheets and underwear and put them in the washing machine. Only, I had to do it without attracting any attention especially from my very anal roommate.

 I spent two days going through every item I owned and two months afterward inspecting, checking and re-checking for any of those little monsters.  My Obsessive Compulsive Disorder went into overdrive.

What an experience that was. Several.years later I told my roommate the crabs story..
He started yelling and screaming as if he wanted to kill me.

Too bad Google was not around back then. I would have been much more relieved more quickly.

A Compulsive Gamblers Tale

Gambling. One of the nastiest monsters of the world. Feed it and it eats your soul. Starve it and it destroys you mind. To a compulsive gambler the loss of gambling is good reason for perpetual mourning. Every ounce of desire in your body craves going back to gambling again. The adrenalin, the euphoria, the joy of knowing you will be in action is enough to inspire any gambler to gamble again no matter how much they have lost.

I am not just talking about lost money. I am talking about lost health, family, friends. I am talking about losing your whole life. I have gambled for over 50 years and almost lost everything. In the last five years I have quit gambling and slowly rebuilt my life. Yet, I continue to long for my greatest friend and unconditional lover. Gambling.
I was a very big gambler betting on sports, craps, blackjack. poker, and anything else I could wager on. I would win or lose thousands of dollars in one day. I figure out that I have lost well over a million dollars in my life. Enough to destroy me financially, mentally, and emotionally. But the money does not matter. It is an emotional disorder. It is an addiction that cannot be dealt with alone. Only other gamblers can help because they understand other gamblers, We are all the same. Groups are all over the country.

Still, the monster inside my brain lives on unaffected. It talks to me and says "You can do it David.". "You can set limits," "Don't go out of control, and enjoy the action. You want it." My rational mind keeps speaking at the same time. "Go to a G.A. meeting David. You are getting false messages. You are doomed if you gamble. You know that." I do know that. Now.
But, the evil voice tears at my my heart and says "just do it. "You will do it right this time. It will be OK." My logical mind needs constant reinforcement to tell me "No. Do not gamble, David" The evil gambling mind that is supported by emotion needs no nourishment. It never does..

The mind of a compulsive gambler will carry the compulsive gambling disease forever. That is the bad news. The good news is that there is help twenty four hours a day all year long in every state. There is a national hotline, website, and email address below to contact. You are not alone. There are millions of gamblers and many are able to stop, one day at a time, and change their lives..
I just celebrated my fifth year of abstinence. I have done a world of things in my 65 years of life. But none as big as stopping gambling. Everyone who cares about me knows that. I had never in the past been aware of family, friends, situations, or any the regular life experiences non-gamblers enjoy. My mind was always focused on how fast i could back into action again. Now, I pay attention to people, I'm not in a hurry to finish any activity, I am much more patient, kind, and empathetic. I am in the here and now..
So, the hardest thing for a gambler to accept is that he can never gamble again. That is too difficult to absorb immediately. But, the Gamblers Anonymous program is based on not gambling one day at a time. That is easier to accept.
The main thing is to recognize the problem. There is a whole segment of G.A for the friends and family who care about helping the gambler. It is an organization called Gam-Anon. There are Gam-Anon meetings all over even if the gambler them self will not come to a meeting.. The number is 718-352-1672 email gamanonoffice@gam-anon.org. Website http://www.gam-anon.org/

GAMBLER. GET HELP

Call 626 960-3500 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Or, go to the website www.gamblersanonymous.org

email isomain@gamblersanonymous.org
Thanks for allowing me to share this with you.

i hope it helps you..

Take a step forward.

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Viagra Is Hard To Afford

Can anyone comment on the outrageous price of a single Viagra tablet which now costs $36.00 at a CVS pharmacy?

Old Man Giving Up On Blogging

I am totally frustrated with my blog. I cannot figure out how to build traffic. I have had thousands of visitors and only made three cents in December 2013. That is pathetic.

I just finished reading about how to build blog traffic by #mashable and some other people. All very good ideas, I'm sure, if I knew what they were talking about.

# Backlinks, hyperlinks, longtail, embedded links, seo, metatitles, and all the rest of that stuff  are all Chinese to me even though I have dedicated hundreds of hours to trying to figure out how to apply what I am reading. I want to write but want to have at least a few people read me. This is no fun.

I never get any comments and I cannot even read my performance reports.

I copy and paste each blog post to Twitter with a teaser that does bring a few people back to my blog. But,
I have a virtual zero following. That means nobody likes it here.

I have also added Google+ to confuse me further. Nobody is going there either.

I think I am too old for social networking. I would rather be writing with a pen and paper.  I did all my profitable work with my mouth. Selling.

It was so much easier then. Also, it can't help that I am so technically inept.

Any  feedback anyone or am I talking to myself?

                            

Jackhammer Blasts OCD Sufferers Brain

I live in a beautiful studio apartment on the top floor of a fancy high rise in Chicago. I treasure my quiet, insulated space because I get freaked out so easily by noise, barking dogs, or any other disturbance that upsets my tranquility. It is caused by Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that causes me to interpret any intrusion as a threat to my peace of mind. Therefore, if a neighbor makes noise by playing loud music or walking loudly on the floor above I am on guard.


I feel I have to confront that person about the problem that I perceived. If that person turns out to be friendly and sympathetic and apologetic I would no longer care about the noise. I would get instant relief. If it was a person who acted angry or indifferent towards my complaint then I would start obsessing about confronting that person again and again intent on getting satisfaction..


This aspect of my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD ) has led to endless anxiety and many terrible and complicated confrontations with people. The problem is really not about the "noise". It is about me feeling victimized or bullied, which is my lifelong obsession.


I have been living in this same unit for over four years. Until last week I had never had any problem with my next door neighbor. I talked to this nice young lady only one time before to ask her not to close her door so loudly early in the morning when she went to work. The door closing woke me because it is located next to the wall my bed is next to. She said "I'm sorry" when I explained my discomfort and I never heard the door close loudly again and forgot about this annoyance. Even when she occasionally closed the door sharply I still did not care. I did not feel victimized or feel any need to confront her..



A few days ago I was awakened to the blasting sound of a jackhammer tearing into the attached wall. I couldn't believe what was happening. It was like a bombardment. I walked out into the hallway and heard the sounds of men working and jackhammering in the next door apartment. I knocked on the door and one of the building foremen working there, who I know, opened it. I said "what's going on?" He told me the condo had been sold and there would be construction with jackhammering going on until the end of the day. I told him that the noise was going to drive me crazy because I am home all day in my office. He said "don't worry, there will be only one day of this."



I left the building to get away from the noise but was beside myself with anxiety. What if the project was not over at the end of the day? But, OK I thought, maybe it will be. I tried to convince myself. I could not.


I came back home at night. Quiet. No construction could be done after 5 pm. The next day at 9 am. the jackhammer was exploding again into my wall. I went next door again and asked the foreman why the noise was still continuing, The foreman then told me that I should not worry. The noise would be over soon. I said "You told me it would be over yesterday" You didn't say anything about this going on today also."


He said that I had misunderstood him. The jackhammering should have been finished the day before, he agreed, but the job took longer then expected. He said the jackhammer would be done within a few hours. He apologized.

I asked " What about the rest of the job"?

He said the entire job would take two weeks. I asked "what else is involved?". He said "Just normal construction, nothing very disturbing." You will hear very little." I felt lied to again.
 

The next day there was loud noise from drilling, hammering, sawing, and scraping, i went to the building office to complain. I was told that Monday through Friday construction was permitted 9 am to 5 pm. Nobody would discuss it further. I would have to live with it.


So, I had a new problem which was the job would be lasting two weeks. Not one day which is what I thought. Also, I started to worry about the foreman being mad at me for complaining and intentionally making the noise worse whenever he could. I had always gotten along with him before. Not now. I feared him.


I could hardly sleep all night waiting for the noise to start again the next day. My brain was on fire with anxiety. I also had an appointment with a new shrink that day. I left to see the shrink before 9 am to avoid the noise I knew I would hearing. I sat at a Starbucks near the shrinks office for hours while a big construction project was going on outside. That loud noise never even bothered me.

I introduced myself to this new shrink and immediately launching into a whole hour about this jackhammer issue and all the related situations like this one that have dominated my life and caused me to be continually wracked with anxiety.

The shrink listened and then told me he could not help me immediately. I asked for medicine like Prozac, an SSRI .(brain pill in plain English) which I had resisted taking again for years because of side effects I had experienced long ago. I was ready to give medicine another try.

He said he had to see me again to understand more before prescribing medicine. He did give me some good advice reinforcing what I already knew.He said that none of my concerns about noises had anything to do with the real issue of low self esteem and my definition of being victimized and my concept of manhood tied into my anxiety.


I was tortured with anxiety about the loud noise I knew I would hear when I returned home all through the session.i was in a full blown OCD episode.



I went back home and heard the loud noises pouring through the wall.. I lasted about fifteen minutes listening to the screech of drills and the pounding of hammers and the scream of wood being sawed. Then, I jumped up and again knocked on the door and the foreman again opened it. His facial expression indicated he had had enough of me.


I said I needed to talk to him again outside. I gave him a cash Christmas present to sweeten him up. Then I said "the noise is loud and it is very disturbing which is not what you promised" He said "let me show you" and he took me into the apartment to show me exactly what was being done.

That was the best thing he could do to turn off my OCD. He had tried to make me feel better with some TLC. That was and always is the key to my overcoming these crazy obsessions..



With that gesture I started to release the anxiety I was overwhelmed with. The foreman showed understanding and compassion and I no longer felt victimized by the noise of the work being done.

Soon, I was back in my apartment concentrating on working and didn't even care about the noise for the next two weeks other then when it would get really loud. Then, I would just tune it out.like a normal person would...


It is Christmas day today and the apartment next door is silent. I keep listening for noises that I envision could be coming from the new owner who I saw had left some personal cleaning supplies. I am worried about any possible confrontations with this person who will be moving in. Is he noisy? Does he slam the door? Does he have a dog? Does he have loud parties?.


I had asked the foreman questions about the new owner and he said he knew very little except he was a young man. I automatically started wishing I could just make friends with this new owner fast and that we liked each other. Then, I would not be bothered by noises made in that apartment. I would be OK with his understanding if I ever needed it.


The life of a person with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is miserable.


It's a pain in the brain.

Better Homes and Gardens Suck In Subscription Offer

Crane Design For Better Living magazine sent a direct response post card out first class mail. Included is an offer for a Free 12 issue subscription to Better Homes and Gardens Magazine. ($6.00 ea.)

However, to qualify for the Free subscription you must make a purchase from Crane. It  does not say what the purchase must be for or any other purchase details. The offer also does not say how often Better Homes and Gardens will be published. Sounds like you can be hooked for $6.00 per month to Better Homes and Gardens magazine.

Great come on!!

If you don't want the subscription to Better Homes and Gardens as part of your unknown purchase from Crane then you must cancel your Free subscription within 30 days, or, you are in debt to Better Hones and Gardens magazine.

The good news is you can cancel, if you can remember to, and end up with Free issues of Better Homes and Gardens which you start receiving starting in 6-8 weeks. The bad news is that if you do not remember to cancel in 30 days and also send back cancellation documentation then you owe better Homes and Gardens $6.00 for each issue you received.

Great deal huh for a purchase you never made from Crane Design For Better Living? What are you supposed to be selling us anyway Crane?

What a suck in.offer from Better Homes and Gardens magazine.

My Life Being Bullied

 I started to write down the names of all the people who have bullied me, both physically and psychologically, in my life and I realize that I could write forever about those experiences. It all started when I was a very little boy. I was afraid to fight back when I was harassed and soon everyone had my number. Even though I was popular and a good athlete bullies would find me and pick up on my vulnerability.


So, eventually at school, in the playground, at a party or the movies, anywhere at all, a bully would test me and see that I would not stand up for myself. So, besides the shame and disgrace I felt then I would have to constantly be fearful of being around that guy. Hyper vigilance and constant anxiety became the cornerstones of my existence.


I am now 65 years old and things have not changed except the ages of the people who test me to see if I will become their victim. I can still be easily intimidated if a bully knows what to say or do to get in my head.


I have used so much mental energy torturing myself because of the continual shame and repulsion I have felt that even after being in therapy, taking medicine, engaging in cognitive behavior therapy, and sharing my innermost thoughts about my terribly damaged ego and lack of self esteem I cannot seem to get any lasting relief.

I am constantly in fear of events occurring that I cannot control but feel I must react to..Threats. Even irrational ones. It does not matter. A neighbor playing loud music, a dog barking nearby that is creating a disturbance, a bully in the street I see taking advantage of someone who cannot defend themselves, or any other situation where I feel that I will have to stand up and walk through the wall of fear to confront the bully behind the disturbance..


I am either afraid to act and do nothing and afterward will torture myself for cowardliness. Or, I face the fear and confront a person I think is a bully. Very often for the wrong reasons. I often end up not accomplishing my objective of resolving the problem but only exacerbate it. Sometimes, I do solve my perception of a bullying problem only to have another similar situation quickly appear.


Long ago I learned to face fear even if it is not justified. I just desperately need the release of facing the fear that I could not face when I was a little boy. I learned how to step into the mouth of terror often for the wrong reasons and then sometimes suffer terrible consequences. There is no winning . The aftermath is still feeling bullied by needing to correct a situation I should have never created.The victory can only be achieved in my mind. Self acceptance is my eternal quest.



It turns out that many of my actions were not about helping the victim, whether the victim is myself or another person but about resolving something that I should have resolved internally. Sometimes it is not bullying, it is my bullied personality creating or distorting a problem. If I were not so sensitized to any situation that could upset my delicate anti-bullying equilibrium I would filter out real situations from ones that I just blew up incorrectly.


It's a.painful life being bullied or being a victim.

Compulsive Gambling: The Unconditional Lover

Gambling. One of the nastiest monsters of the world. Feed it and it eats your soul. Starve it and it destroys your mind. To a compulsive gambler the loss of gambling is good reason for perpetual mourning. Every ounce of desire in your body craves going back to gambling again.
The adrenalin, the euphoria, the joy of knowing you will be in action is enough to inspire any gambler to go back no matter how much they have lost. I am not just talking about lost money. I am talking about lost health, family, friends. Losing your whole life.
I have gambled for over 50 years and lost it all. In the last few years i have quit gambling and slowly rebuilt my life.

Yet, I continue to long for my greatest friend and unconditional lover. Gambling. I was a very big gambler betting on sports, craps, and blackjack. I would win or lose thousands of dollars a day. I figured out that I have lost well over a million dollars in my life.
Enough to destroy me financially, mentally, and emotionally. Yet the monster inside my brain lives on unaffected. It says "You can do it David." You can set limits,you can avoid going out of control, and enjoy the happiness of being in action."

My rational mind keeps speaking at the same time. "Go to a G.A. meeting David. You are getting false messages. You are doomed if you gamble. You know that."
I do. But,the evil voice tears at my my heart and says "just do it. "You will do it right this time. It will be OK

The logical mind needs constant reinforcement to say no. The evil mind that is supported by emotion needs no nourishment. It never starves and is endlessly patient.
Look up Gamblers Anonymous online and find out where to call and where the local meetings are in your area..

I have not gambled a penny since January 9, 2009.
If I can stop anybody can..

You do it one day at a time.


You can only win if you don't play..

Yahoo Barred Me Unfairly From Writing For Their Contributor Network

Re: Incident # 121204-033783 occurring in late December 2012.

I believe Yahoo engaged in unfair business practices toward me. I used to write free lance for Yahoo Contributors Network https://contributor.yahoo.com  for several years until I was barred in 2012 from the site. I could not understand why. They refused to tell me the specific reason.

I have lost money and the joy of being unable to publish on Yahoo. I did nothing wrong in my writing that I can even remotely figure out. I tried and tried to get an answer from their team but they refused to explain.

I have now again renewed my efforts to be given an explanation. I will not stop persisting until a person from Yahoo or  someone on the Yahoo Contributor Team clarifies the cause of my being cancelled permanently from writing for them.

It was the best free lance writing site I ever written for and I miss it. I believe they made a mistake and whoever terminated me did not want to take responsibility for.

Please Yahoo, tell me the story and allow me to respond whatever your reasons for cancelling me were.      

I sent an email to the Contributor Network, and also to Marissa Mayer, and David Filo.This is just a small matter to Yahoo I'm sure, but an injustice is an injustice.

Yahoo is not above being accountable for their business conduct and basic fairness no matter what their Terms of service say.

Thank you.

David Stein

Bullied On The Playground

 ext.Grammar school playground-day

Alan is standing on playground with other boys during recess.

He shoves David.

David-Stop

Alan-Or what?

What are you gonna do about it?

David-Just leave me alone would ya?.

Alan-Pushes David hard again.

David pushes back very lightly with no heart.

Alan-Did you just push me?

David-Not really

Alan-Rushes at him, throws him down and punches him several times. David tries  to cover himself. Not fighting back No guts.

Alan-Don’t ever touch me again.

  

He let’s David up.

Ext playground-cont.

David-Walks back to class ashamed.. He can’t stop thinking about and replaying the event all day.. He thinks back to brother Jerry's words. Coward. Not a man. A man would have fought back.

 ext.playground-day

Alan-Stands there looking at David walking awaylaughing with the other boys