DAVID'S PLACE:

The argument is about strawberries!! Really. strawberries. My girlfriend is all pissy tonight. She did not want to go out. She is too tired. I said fine. Good with me. Anyway, we usually get along. I'm this 70 year old Jewish, divorced guy who started another life in Florida after living in Chicago until four months ago. I met my wonderful, absolutely brilliant and indescribably gorgeous girlfriend a few months ago. Now, we live together. We both are retired and she takes care of me like a baby. She loves me crazy, crazy and I love her the same way. I am kind of an entitled, spoiled brat who does not follow normal protocols in many areas .My girlfriend does not mind my being kind of sloppy, impulsive, demanding and I am willing to accept her being habitually late, being lovingly domineering,and needing lights and TVs turned off way too early. I'ts all good usually.  But, not tonight.  Well, she got out of bed for a snack. I followed her to the kitchen.  ...

  I woke up this morning in terror about my life. Broke and three days from being homeless thanks to my fucking girlfriend - ex-girlfriend. She gave me the boot just because my old dick won't go up all the time. Ok. Most of the time . Fine. Almost never. I get it. My dick is really a problem. But, its only been bad for 7 or 8 years.  No big deal I tell her. "That's right" she says. "Your dick used to be a big deal. Now its mush just like the person its attached to. You two belong together. Two worthless . I don't know.... Things.  Three days to find another sucker for free rent . Good luck. Your ex- main asset  is now as useless as rotten eggs"   I hobbled over to to  the computer table to take my pills. I glanced at the computer screen and my heart jumped.. I'm not too sharp but I do know a good deal when I see one. She thinks I'm dumb. Ha.  There it was. On the screen in big, bold print  an offer that said." We can make you wealthy wit...

First time I lost my virginity was back in 1967 in a whorehouse in Peoria, IL.  I was with a bunch of guys on New Years Eve and we decided to drive up to this house of ill repute. I was really nervous. I was still a virgin.  My sexual experiences were mostly hand jobs from my trustworthy high school girl friend. I thought I was one of the only guys to not have done the real thing. So, we entered this prostitution house and I looked around at several available women all in negligees.They were just sitting around on display.  I saw an African American who was so hot with big tits and long legs. She kind of looked like Eartha Kitt. I pointed to her and she got up and she took me to a little room with a small bed. It did not smell good in that room but we did the deed after a little performance anxiety by me. I strutted out to my friends who were already finished with their ladies. I had a big smile on my face.We left and had some food and drinks celebrating our accomplis...