COMPULSIVE GAMBLING: THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVER

Gambling. One of the nastiest monsters of the world. Feed it and it eats your soul. Starve it and it destroys your mind. To a real compulsive gambler the loss of gambling is good reason for perpetual mourning. Every ounce of desire in your body craves going back to gambling again.

The adrenaline, the euphoria, the joy of knowing you will be in action is enough to inspire any gambler to gamble again or relapse no matter how much they have lost. I am not just talking about lost money. I am talking about lost health, family, and friends. About losing everything that matters.

I gambled for over 50 years and lost it all. In the last nine years I have quit gambling and slowly rebuilt my life. Yet, I continue to long for my greatest friend and unconditional lover. Gambling. But I am no longer owned by that urge. I own it. But, I only own it one day at a time. So I stay on guard and keep working with other compulsive gamblers continually or I know I am doomed. Each day, I commit to not gambling that day and then I get to the next day. It's not easy but it's way better than dying.

I was a very big gambler betting on sports, craps, blackjack, anything at all. I would win or lose thousands of dollars a day. I had lost well over a million dollars in my life before I stopped gambling nine years ago. My last bet was on January 9, 2009. I also lost my priceless soul. I was a total degenerate.

The addiction of compulsive gambling is the same for all affected whether one bets nickels or thousands of dollars. It's all about powerlessness over gambling. A compulsive gambler cannot stop permanently without help. The help comes from joining Gamblers Anonymous which is totally free.

No one stops gambling on their own permanently. Will power alone will not make it. I tried many times and would stop for a few months or longer. But, the urge to gamble again waited patiently to take me down. Eventually, I would start gambling. I could not understand that I needed the help of other compulsive gamblers to stop gambling permanently. I quit over and over. But, I could not stay sober from betting.

Being destroyed financially, mentally, and emotionally is not enough. The monster inside my brain and every other compulsive gamblers brain still lives on unaffected by logic and reason. It says "You can do it David." You can set limits, you can avoid going out of control and enjoy the thrill of being in action." My rational mind keeps speaking at the same time. "Go to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting David. You are getting false messages. You are doomed if you gamble. You know that."

I do know that now. The gambling demon in my brain does not go away. It never will But, the evil voice tears at my irrational mind and says "just do it. "You will do it like a normal person this time. You will be ok" My logical mind needs constant reinforcement to say no to that urge everyday of my life. It says "David, you have tried to stop gambling and cannot do it alone."

My abnormal mind is a powerful, self destructive force that needs no nourishment. It never starves and is endlessly patient. It waits and waits tirelessly inside of myself and inside every other compulsive gambler. It says "Come to me David. You want me" It stalks me and tempts me like the sick, twisted, sociopath it is.

My solution, my lifelong answer came when I started to attend Gamblers Anonymous meetings regularly which are filled with people just like me. I faithfully attend GA meetings weekly, every week, no matter what else is happening. My GA meetings are the biggest responsibility I have. Meetings come before work, family, or anything else because I know that gambling will either drive me insane, put me in jail, or kill me.

So, I know that my life depends on not gambling and I need the support of other compulsive gamblers continually. I stay abstinent by going to Gamblers Anonymous meetings and sharing my feelings with other gamblers whether young or old whether they have been abstinent for one day or thirty years. I know that I need the positive reinforcement I get from being at GA meetings which are plentiful all over the country and the world.

I work the 12 steps of recovery with a sponsor and at group meetings. I deal with personal defects that caused me endless pain and suffering from gambling. Only from GA can I get the strength and support of others just like me who help me through each day.

Compulsive Gamblers all share the same feelings. Only other compulsive gamblers understand each other regardless of age, nationality, beliefs or any other denominator. We are all the same because we are powerless over gambling and our lives are unmanageable. It's easy to understand but tough to accept and stick with. But, thousands of men and women are recovering compulsive gamblers.

Look up Gamblers Anonymous online and find out where to call and where the local meetings are in your area. Google it.

Its easy to check out. A spouse or friend can check it out for you. There is a free, twenty four hour a day non stop helpline that can be called by anyone, anytime. Try it. 

I have not gambled a penny since January 9, 2009. If I can stop anybody can.

But, only with help.

You can only win if you don't play.

     COMPULSIVE GAMBLING DESTROYS                                                    

Update December 12, 2023

The adrenaline, the euphoria, the joy of knowing you will be in action is enough to inspire any gambler to gamble again and again  no matter how much they have lost. I am not just talking about lost money. I am talking about lost health, jobs,  family, and friends. 

About losing everything that matters.

I gambled for over 50 years and lost it all. In the last 14 years since 2009, I have quit gambling and slowly rebuilt my life. Yet, I continue to long for my greatest friend and unconditional lover. 

Gambling.

Now, I am no longer owned by that gambling urge. I own it. But, I only own it only day at a time. So, I stay on guard and keep working with other compulsive gamblers continually or I know I am doomed. 

Each day I commit to not gambling that day and to get to the next day without making a bet. Gambling is an incurable, lifelong disease. That is the bad news. 

The good  news is the condition can be arrested.

 You can stop.

It's not easy but it's much better than going to jail, an asylum, or the cemetery. Those are the only alternatives. That has been proven time and time again. 

I was a very big gambler at times betting box car numbers on sports, craps, blackjack, or anything at all, everyday. I would win or lose hundreds of thousands of dollars. I had lost well over 1 million dollars before I stopped gambling in 2009. 

Or, I would go back to betting pennies,

It was never about the money. It was only about the action.

I also lost  my priceless soul by stealing, lying, and cheating. I was dirt to myself and all the people who loved me. My self respect and that of others came back to me in bits and pieces only when I stopped.   

I lost  over a million dollars, Many will never trust me again with good reason regardless of how I have redeemed myself.

The addiction of compulsive gambling is the same for all of us affected whether one bets nickels or millions of dollars. We are powerless. Gamblers cannot stop. Help is needed.

The help comes from joining Gamblers Anonymous (GA) which is a totally free fellowship. There are meetings all over the country. Free..

Just hit the Google button.

No one stops gambling on their own permanently. Will power alone will not make it. I tried many times and would stop for a few months or longer. 

But, the urge to gamble waited patiently to take me down again and again. I would stay abstinent for one month to three years. Eventually, I would start gambling again.

I could not understand that I needed the help of other compulsive gamblers to quit gambling permanently. I always thought I could stop on my own. I never wanted to. 

So, I would say I was different. I insisted I did not need Gamblers Antonymous.

Being destroyed financially, mentally, and emotionally was not enough to stop me. The monster inside my brain and every other compulsive gamblers brain still lives on unaffected by logic and reason.

 It says "come back to me. I love you no matter what you have done. You can gamble David. You can set limits, you can avoid going out of control and just enjoy the thrill of being in action like a normal person.”

Simultaneously, my rational mind always kept speaking the painful truth constantly saying. “You are powerless., you cannot stop gambling on your own."

My compulsive gambling mental illness is much smarter and stronger than my will.

"You are doomed if you gamble David.” That is the true inner voice.

That truth must be accepted 100%.about the impossibility of successfully gambling if you are a compulsive gambler. There are no halfway measures.

I do know that now. The gambling demon in my brain will never go away.! But, it can be stopped from doing any more damage.

The evil, patient, clever voice lies and tears at my rational mind and keeps saying "Just do it. You will be okay." 

My  powerless mind needs constant reinforcement to continue saying no to that urge present everyday of my life. 

 Now It says "David, you have tried to stop gambling and cannot do it alone. Go to a gamblers anonymous meeting, Contact your GA. friends."

My sick mind is a powerful, self destructive force that needs no nourishment. It never starves and is endlessly patient. It waits and waits tirelessly inside myself and inside every other compulsive gambler. It screams "Come back to me David. You want me."

It stalks me and tempts me like the sick, twisted, sociopath it is.

But, it can be beaten.

My solution, my lifelong answer came when I started to attend Gamblers Anonymous meetings regularly which are filled with people just like me. I faithfully attend several Gamblers Anonymous meetings weekly, every week, no matter what else is happening. 

My Gamblers Anonymous meetings are the biggest responsibility I have. My life depends on my fellow compulsive gamblers who are exactly like me and you.. They are continually at weekly meetings and you can find meetings no matter where live,.

Gamblers Anonymous come before work, family, or anything else because I know that gambling again will either drive me insane, put me in jail, or kill me.

So, I know that my life depends on not gambling and I need the support of other compulsive gamblers continually. I stay abstinent by going to meetings and sharing my feelings with other gamblers whether young or old and whether they have been abstinent for one day or thirty years.

I know that I need the positive reinforcement I get from being at GA meetings which are plentiful all over the country and the world. 

Just Google gamblers anonymous. Call the   any of the 24/7 phone services or have someone call for you. 

I work the 12 steps of recovery alone, with a sponsor, and at group meetings. I deal with the personal defects that caused me endless pain and suffering from gambling. 

Recovery heals the soul and improves the person. That is for later. Now, it is time to find out about stopping gambling.

Only from Gamblers Anonymous can I get the strength and support of others just like you who help me through each day.

Compulsive Gamblers all share the same feelings. Only other compulsive gamblers understand each other regardless of age, nationality, beliefs or any other denominator. 

We are all the same because we are all powerless over gambling and our lives are unmanageable. 

It's an easy concept to understand but tough to accept and stick with. But, hundreds of thousands of men and women all over the world are successfully recovering compulsive gamblers.

Look up Gamblers Anonymous online and find out where to call and where the local meetings are in your area.  Punch up Compulsive Gambling on Google..

 There are thousands of meetings throughout the country everyday of the year. It is a totally FREE fellowship.

There are free, twenty four hour a day non stop helplines that can be called by anyone, anytime. Call it gamblers and spouses. It may save your life.

You can also just punch up meeting lists and walk into any meeting. You will be welcomed with open arms.

I have not gambled a penny since January 9, 2009. Before that I gambled everyday for over fifty years..

If I can stop anybody can.

But, only with help.

You can win only but only if you don't play.

Gambling is my deadly lover who I never intend to return to.

Compulsive gambling is the devil.

The National Helpline is:

1-855 479-2743

 It is a FREE call for gamblers. spouses or friends

It is an access point to local resources for those seeking information about a gambling problem.

Just check it out wherever you live. 

Give it a try

You cannot lose.

GARBAGE SOCIAL MEDIA TWITTER AND X VIOLATED MY RIGHTS

      

   Twitter and Laura Ingraham still SUCK

 Twitter is the same liars and low life’s they always have been. They banned me in 2015 about a tweet I posted about Laura Ingraham, the piece of garbage Fox entertainer. 

Twitter sent me a letter of apology admitting they were wrong for banning me and they apologized for unfairly banishing me because I violated no rules. 

Then, a few days ago Twitter and X said I was fully reinstated. I tried to sign in. 

However, they still will not allow me to sign in until I delete the Ingraham post. A post they admitted in writing that they said was not a violation. Can I sue? No. She is still scum as is Twitter and X. They are afraid of liability. They should be.              

GUTLESS GROVELING CONGRESSIONAL TRUMP MAGAS

What a pathetic joke it is to try and baselessly impeach Joe Biden. I hope the sicko fringe Republicans do not proceed, If the DOJ starts digging into the backgrounds of some of the most radical anti-Biden morons they may end up thrown out of office and impeached themselves for good reasons.

Mr. Garbage, speaker of the house Kevin McCarthy a weak, groveling dope  and total Trump loyalist and Jim Jordan, two of the garbage picking Republicans attacking the President and his son both have dirty and immoral backgrounds.

Jim Jordan or Gym as he is sometimes called would not act to help his wrestlers at Ohio State University a few years ago when he coached college wrestling when some wrestlers told him of the perverted sexual actions of Dr. Richard Strauss who acted out sexually with at least six of Jordan's wrestlers. Jordan knew and walked away without opening his disgusting mouth while knowing about the sexual attacks on his wrestlers by Strauss. 

Cowardly Strauss than choose suicide after being sentenced to jail for his despicable and sick perversions. 

As for Speaker McCarthy who heads the impeachment effort he dropped out of the speakers race in 2015 partly because married Mr. McCarthy had an affair with congresswoman Renee Ellmers. Kevin is one of the dumbest and most gutless Trumpers out there who only got his speakership by selling his soul to a bunch of far right goons.

There is  a ton of dirty laundry connected to many other members of congress. much more serious than Hunter Biden who repaid his income tax  and his having a illegal gun. This guy is being hung out to dry by these useless Republicans who cannot even come with charges against Joe Biden, 

Since when are the Republicans so concerned about guns anyway? They do not seem to make any real effort to stop maniacs from legally buying AR-15 assault rifles and other rifles designed as fighting weapons.  In many states as you can buy a long rifle as easily as you can buy a hamburger. One of Hunter Bidens guns might have been sold to him by a place that lobbies and contributes to Jordan and other impeachment supporters. 

But, they protect their assault rifle lobbies who drop money on them to keep the gun sellers in business. And all kinds of people die and the guns keep firing at helpless people with a few notable exceptions who will not sell guns..

Meanwhile, we are getting close to a government shutdown while these goofs in congress fight with each other over nothing making no domestic progress and North Koreas Kim  and Russia's Putin laugh, have lunch and buy and sell weapons. 

All this in large part because of Donald J. Trump, a lying, cheating, sexual criminal who conman who has a strangle hold on the seats of the members of the Republican party.

People. What are we allowing to happen to this country?

TRUMPS SECRET CONFESSION

He quietly dialed the stored numbers of the heads of major US news outlets. 

It was 3am Tuesday in Washington. The same words were said to each startled person with no greetings or apology.

“It's the President.” 

The voice was unmistakable to the thirty people called from the oversized, greasy, black cell phone.

 He ordered each of them to attend an emergency press conference at the White House West Wing at exactly 12pm later that day.  

Each call ended with the words “no questions” and an abrupt hang up. 

He then called key cabinet members and instructed them to come to the noon conference with the stern admonition “no questions”. 

Finally, he called Chief of Staff, Jack King, his oldest, most loyal confidant and only real friend in his 75 years of privileged existence. 

He directed him, without hesitation, to have the outdoor West Wing set up for “a big crowd” of reporters and others that would be attending the “high noon” press conference he had decided on.

“What's going on, Mr. President?” Jack King, excitedly blurted out. 

“I'm done, Jack. I can't take anymore. It's over. The con is folding at noon today.

“All my loyal supporters better get ready to go to jail or to go out looking for real jobs. 

“I've decided to tell the country the truth. The real truth.

From the four hundred million my dad left me, to the deal with Putin to get elected, and everything in between.  

No more bullshit, lies, fantasies, con, or deception about anything.

I'm going straight. 

 “We both know I've been feeding my ignorant base bullshit since I started running in 2015. 

Forty million fools think I am legitimate. 

They live and die by my words. Me! 

The world's biggest fraud. 

The worst student in the class. 

The bottom line is I am physically afraid to be President anymore. 

“When Putin hears my confession, let alone all the others who despise me and want my scalp, I don't know how I will survive?

 “I can't win in 2020, and I'm scared to death of ending up in jail,

 here, or maybe in Moscow after I lose. 

Or worse.”

“Then why are you going to tell the truth now asked the Chief of Staff?”

"Because, I might have the best chance of making a deal that may keep me out of jail and keep me protected by the Secret Service. 

"I'm poison for the country, and it's worth everything to a few honest party leaders to get me out of here. My value is dropping everyday as the roof keeps

caving in. 

“If I wait until after the election, then no one will have any reason to do anything with me. 

“Now, I still have the power of this fake presidency.  

“Maybe, I'll have a pardon party. It will be the hottest ticket the world has ever seen. Only, I don't know if I'll still be able to use the pardon power if I can make deal. 

The other crooks that have been kissing my ass always knew this whole scam was going down. The virus, unemployment, the Putin bounty on dead soldiers... look at the polls.

The game is over, Jack.

 “I intend to leave with dignity, no matter what the price. I hate the truth but I've got to tell it. 

I'm going out like a man.

I hate who I am. 

That changes today.  

 "I'll tell the world the story about the  bullshit border wall, about why I don't have the balls to stand up to Putin, about those pathetic immigrants, about all my bogus deals, crimes, and violations of my oath. 

Everything.   

"I'm also going to release my tax returns and take down a lot of oligarchs.

  "I'm sick of the presidency. It's just a shitty job. This whole country is gonna get the virus and go broke at the same time.

“I'm going to answer every question anyone asks and I'm going to tell the truth if I know how to.”

“What about your close supporters?” said King.

“Those fools always knew they were playing a con game that I was running and the con could fold anytime. 

It did. They are all a bunch of morons for following me. Just like all my old investors who busted out believing me. 

This is all about saving myself and a few of my kids.”

“And your wife, Donald?” asked King. 

 Who's that?

“I'm going to meet with the top Democrats and Republicans in my office after the noon showdown and tell them what it will take for me to resign. I'll shoot for the moon but

 they will know I have no more leverage other then stretching out my resignation. Maybe I can use that? I'm  resigning tomorrow, deal or no deal. 

I'm out."

  But, they may be so hot to get me out of the House quickly, that I might keep my pardon power.  

I'll test the waters as soon as the country comes out of shock tomorrow after my confession.”

“What if no one will play ball?” said King.

“I'm fucked.”

I cannot concentrate..

I want my daddy.”

You're the only person I can trust, Jack. The 

What will I do when I'm out of here without you  protecting me?”

"Pardons for friends if you can, asked Jack?"

“What friends?

All those morons knew what they were doing grabbing onto my ass and getting a free ride. Well, as my dad used to say, “even a train stops.”

“12 noon, just like that great, old movie High Noon, with Gary Cooper and Grace Kelly.”

“The showdown.

 I will finally show the world and myself that I do have balls.

My dad and everyone else will know I'm a brave man. Just like Gary Cooper 

That I'm not a coward.

I don't know if I can do this?”

BOND, JAMES BOND. WHERE DID THAT NAME COME FROM?

The first James Bond movie starring Sean Connery, then an unknown and unlikely actor, was Dr. No and released in 1962.  The first words Sean Connery uttered as Bond was the world famous iconic phrase Bond, James Bond.

People, including myself, have thought that Connery spontaneously changed the script from an unknown name to Bond, James Bond. because it sounded better. 

However, the famous catchy line was supposedly arrived at by Berkely Mather the co-script writer for Dr. No, From Russia With Love and Goldfinger which were the first three Bond movies. Maher was a British script writer. 

There were a total of twenty five Bond movies featuring several Bond characters

EON Productions Limited produced the first movies. Albert R . "Cubby" Broccoli and Herschel Harry Saltzman were partners for the first nine Bond movies. 

Their unfriendly partnership supposedly ended in 1972 by mutual agreement but Broccoli initially would not fulfill  the agreement to sell his shares to Saltzman for about 9 million dollars. The issue was resolved later.

EON Productions Limited and Danjaq LLC was wholly owned and controlled by the Wilson/Broccoli family. Danjaq is the US based company that controlled, along with Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios the copyrights to the existing James Bond films and controlled the rights to produce future James Bond films.

Amazon, in 2022 closed an $8.5 billion deal to purchase MGM studios which which gave Amazon control of famous movie franchises like James Bond and Rocky.

Barbara Broccoli, Cubby's daughter was involved with Bonds movies and now has an estate estimated to be $400 million as of 2022.

There are plans for additional releases of most Bond movies on Prime Video and they will be stream able.  Bond was scheduled to leave Prime in 2022.

Do not worry. Bond will always be out there.

75 YEAR OLD WRITER TO NEW BEST SELLING AUTHOR

I am just another guy sitting in my kitchen chair trying to figure out how to become a successful author. I just read David Baldacci's autobiography who is the best selling author and he made writing seem so easy. He made it sound like just telling an interesting story to a friend was the trick.

I am a 75 year old male who is retired and disinterested in almost everything I have been doing lately besides talking to my family of kids and grandkids. Writing seems like the one way I can justify an admittedly indulged existence only because of the good fortune of a well endowed family and some lucky business success.
Otherwise, I feel very empty sitting out here in Florida far away from my roots in Chicago.

I never saw the point in going to school so I en1ded up graduating last in my class in both grade school and high school then got kicked out of 3 colleges and inducted into the army at the height of the Vietnam war. Being scared to death of actually being sent to fight I fooled the shrink at the induction center with an academy award performance of a neurotic, disturbed, terrified, bullied kid who said he could not urinate with other people around.

I did the whole interview head down and hardly ever looking up at the army shrink and  speaking creepy softly.. He bought my crazy act even though he still had me come back 3 months later. I  came back and performed the same act of being a man that was  potential total liability to the army. I was permanently rejected.
I headed straight to the local pool room where my friends were waiting for my results. I took them all out to dinner and we  got drunk to celebrate my good fortune not  to be drafted. My friends  were mostly nice boys who got deferments because they were in college studying to be doctors and lawyers. 

That was back in 1969.

In the ensuing years I have been the same lucky dope that I always was from grade school on.

I gambled, smoked dope, did a lot of coke and chased women all this time. I did get married to a wonderful woman and that union lasted from 1975 to 1989 although we were pretty done after 1982.

In fact, I just had a reunion with some guys I have been friends with for 69 years who are all friends from the old neighborhood who started school with me in 1953. 
It was great.

FOOTBALL ORGY BEGINS

Another season of not watching football  for me is here. I have not watched a televised football game for more than 5 minutes since I stopped gambling on football and everything else 14 years ago. 

It is so satisfying to not care about which team beats which team the entire season. Good for all the football freaks out there that the now get an unlimited new supply of football to love and cherish.

I would rather be playing pickleball, reading, working out, playing golf or doing any worthwhile task rather than living or dying by which team wins a football game. 

I know I’m in a small minority of people especially in recent years as football  popularity has blown up to monstrous proportions. 

So what? Who cares? 

Figure out those spreads. 

You’ll do great this season lol.