DAVID'S PLACE:

  I was just a little five year old boy waiting in line to be let into my first grade class. It was 1953 at a Chicago Elementary school named De-Witt Clinton located on the north side of the city where I grew up. It was the first day of the semester and I did not know many of the forty or so kids in line also waiting to go to their first day of class.   For no reason a boy I had never seen before walked in front of me and said "Hey kid, ever been kicked in the balls?" "No", I innocently answered.   He then kicked me squarely in my small crotch. I doubled over in pain, went down, and started to cry.   As I caught my breath and stood up the last thing on my mind was hitting or retaliating against him. I was too scared and ashamed.  The other kids standing around laughed at my misery. They taunted me mercilessly. "Fight, fight, fight," they screamed. I felt humiliated and victimized. I already knew what bullying was and had seen it done to othe...

I always play golf on the weekends with a group of about eight guys. We are all personal friends some closer than others.  I am very good friends with one of the guys. We are all between the ages of forty five and seventy two years old me being the oldest.  I have experienced a lifetime of being bullied whether it is mental or physical. I've made a very big effort to stand up for myself with words and deeds. It is scary and tormenting to act when you are afraid but one must face fear when necessary. Sometimes I succeed and many other times I do not in defending myself. Complicating things is my severe lifelong emotional disorder with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Without going deep into an analysis of my particular condition which centers around fighting back when I feel victimized I will point out a case in point to explain exactly why I feel bullied right now. The guy I am very close to is also a bully. His bullying tools are not his muscles but his mouth and alpha pe...

 I started to write down the names of all the people who have bullied me, both physically and psychologically, in my life and I realize that I could write forever about those experiences. It all started when I was a very little boy. I was afraid to fight back when I was harassed and soon everyone had my number. Even though I was popular and a good athlete bullies would find me and pick up on my vulnerability. So, eventually at school, in the playground, at a party or the movies, anywhere at all, a bully would test me and see that I would not stand up for myself. So, besides the shame and disgrace I felt then I would have to constantly be fearful of being around that guy. Hyper vigilance and constant anxiety became the cornerstones of my existence. I am now 65 years old and things have not changed except the ages of the people who test me to see if I will become their victim. I can still be easily intimidated if a bully knows what to say or do to get in my head....

 ext.Grammar school playground-day Alan is standing on playground with other boys during recess. He shoves David. David-Stop Alan-Or what? What are you gonna do about it? David-Just leave me alone would ya?. Alan-Pushes David hard again. David pushes back very lightly with no heart. Alan-Did you just push me? David-Not really Alan-Rushes at him, throws him down and punches him several times. David tries  to cover himself. Not fighting back No guts. Alan-Don’t ever touch me again.     He let’s David up. Ext playground-cont. David-Walks back to class ashamed.. He can’t stop thinking about and replaying the event all day.. He thinks back to brother Jerry's words. Coward. Not a man. A man would have fought back.  ext.playground-day Alan-Stands there looking at David walking awaylaughing with the other boys

My first day of school which was about about 60 years ago. I remember crying and screaming as my mother dropped me off at kindergarten. I walked toward the entrance timidly when she left me at the entrance with a bunch of other kids who were also just starting school. A boy named Larry walked up to me and said "hi". I'm Larry. I said hi back. He then asked me "have you ever been kicked in the balls"? I said "no". He then kicked me right in my 5 year old nuts. I started to cry hysterically from the pain and the shame. I used to see Larry each day and avoided him for the entire 8 years I was in grade school. I tried to get out of going back to school the next day. by telling my mom I was scared of Larry. She said "don't worry honey, just stay away from bad boys like that".  Larry wasn't even one of the cool kids or tough kids I later discovered.. He was just a kid who felt like he could get away with bullying me and he was right. ...

I started to write down the names of all the people who have bullied me, both physically and psychologically, in my life and I realize that I could write forever about those experiences. It all started when I was a very little boy. I was afraid to fight back when I was harassed and soon everyone had my number. Even though I was popular and a good athlete bullies would find me and pick up on my vulnerability. So, eventually at school, in the playground, at a party or the movies, anywhere at all, a bully would test me and see that I would not stand up for myself. So, besides the shame and disgrace I felt then I would have to constantly be fearful of being around that guy. Hyper vigilance and constant anxiety became the cornerstones of my existence. I am now 65 years old and things have not changed except the ages of the people who test me to see if I will become their victim. I can still be easily intimidated if a bully knows what to say or do to get in my head. I have used so much...