Bye Hon

David-I want to come over and write a skit Terry-No. D-Why not? T-Because D-Because why? T-I want to just relax today. . D-Relax from what? You did nothing yesterday but sleep. T-I’ve been writing and editing all week T-So? D-So why can't we ever write something and just send it in? T- Its not that simple. It’s too complicated to explain to you. D-What’s so complicated? T-You don’t know anything except how to be funny. Idiot, leave me alone. D-What else is there? T-There is writes and rewrites and editing and submissions that goes on and on. D-Let’s do it. T-Not today. D-Why? T-That’s why I want to kill you. You just don’t stop. You are still a spoiled baby at 65. T-Why, why why. Like you were still begging your mother for a toy. D-You’ll never do it. T-So? D-We can make a lot of money if anyone sees how funny we are. T-You do it for both of us D-C’mon. I’ll come over and we'll write a skit and I’ll publish it. I’ll put it in my blog. Maybe someone will notice our potential. You don’t have to do anything yet. Just write the dialogue. T-No. Not today. D-Got anything better to do? T-No David. D-Good answer. D-I’m doing it anyway alone. I'm just using you. T-Go ahead. D-OK. Can’t you just……? T-Bye hon. D-Bye hon your ass. T-Fuck off Interested anyone?

My Stuck Sneeze

I just can't sneeze. It seems that it has been at least 11 weeks since I last successfully went aaahh-chooo. I am used to this problem since it has been happening off and on for about 10 years. But, I usually sneeze in 3,4,or 5 weeks. It has never gone on this long before I think 10 weeks without a sneeze was the old record which I have now shattered. If I was not so miserable it would be funny to me like it is to everyone else. I am in very good health. I have checked this out before with all the different Dr.s and they all say there is nothing wrong with me physically. They say it has to be psychological. They also say that not ever sneezing is meaningless. It will never matter or hurt anything else in my body if I sneeze or not. But, it is so frustrating. I thought this latest episode was finally over a few minutes ago when the urge to sneeze came and was intense. But, no. Just another aborted attempt occurred when the Choo was ready to release but would not explode. Don't tell me about black pepper, cold weather, pulling eyelashes q-tips, kleenex, or any other tricks to cause a sneeze. I could write a book about every sneezing trick. It is so aggravating to go day after day and become more obsessed with this stupid function not working. I think about sneezing continually. the urges come several times a day and I get high hopes only to become more depressed when I can't sneeze. Why me? Why not me since I am as neurotic as they come. I am a 65 year old guy with almost no other health problems. I hardly ever get sick or have any kind of sinus or nose problems. I feel fine everyday. This is purely a mental thing. It is not neurological or physically related to the brain. I know all that. I have OCD and that is probably the cause. Who cares? I want to sneeze. Understanding does not help when I am debilitated with a half sneeze and the other half just teases me relentlessly and stays stuck. It is misery.

A Great Date

It was another match.com date with a 65 year old man and a 62year old woman. Except this is the date that I did not want to ever end. It started innocently enough, after a few online misfires, with lunch at a Greek restaurant in Chicago. It ended several hours later with a connection that I am overwhelmed by. She is magnificent in her sensitivity, intellect and rare, unaffected beauty. We found that certain indefinable common ground quickly as we had a drink and ordered some food. After she spoke a few words I knew she was a rarity. A non-egocentric, kind, classy, intellectual strong and sensual woman of great experience and insight. Only she did not come off as anything but a very sweet lady who knew her way around. I looked at her and immediately was swept away. After lunch, which lasted a long time I blurted out "do you want to go play?" and she said "sure." My heart skipped a beat. Maybe she liked me? We walked around this big food market tourist attraction in the Northwestern train station after getting lost a few times. No one cared. We walked and walked around for hours and finally sat down for some coffee. We exchanged intimate affections and sat for a while still getting acquainted but with more touching and light kisses. Her lips were sensitive but she kissed mine softly and passionately and touched my face. It was heaven. Finally, we walked back toward the restaurant we met at which is located close to her apartment. I asked hopefully if we could just keep this date going by going to a movie or doing anything at all. She said that she was tired and had just taken a flu shot and that that would be all for now. The words came with a hint of more good things to come soon. It has been all I could do to keep myself from calling her tonight but I'm still a guy that lives by the old male code so I didn't. Besides, I thought that I did the best I could to show my captivation with her. Being a good man and sitting tight was the right move. Then, I thought of this essay as a healthy release. I will email it to her. What I felt being with her was the thing I have always held out for and why I decided never to settle for less in a woman then I wanted. I want the real deal, the whole enchilada and nothing less. The feeling that there isn't anyone in the whole world to be with but that special person is the only feeling to make me really happy and fulfilled. That's how I feel. I must be crazy writing this after one date but who cares. It's who I am.

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