FEAR FOR THE SURVIVAL OF AMERICA

                                                                

I fear that the Ukrainians courageous battle against the Russian invaders will diminish as that war disappears from the front pages of newspapers and news shows. It starts to seem that there is no problem in Ukraine just because the minute by minute reporting is not on events over there continually as it was before

That is not true.

However, our mentality makes that war out of sight and out of mind.

I fear a backlash against the Jewish nation in their retaliation for the murderous attacks committed by Hamas with initial sentiment supporting Israel and now some diminishing support.

Everyone hates killing unnecessarily.

I fear the US getting politically punished for continuing to support Israel in their effort to wipe out Hamas whose goal is to murder every Jewish person.

Unfortunately, innocent people, especially children, are victims.

It is a horror.

The President is stuck in the middle because of loyalty to Israel, and also political logic, both for and in favor of his actions. He is trying to do the right thing I feel but what is the right thing to do?

I fear that Biden is getting too overwhelmed by the pressure from the Israeli war, the Uranian war, congressional in fighting and his terribly weak polling numbers to function effectively.

He must overcome huge, complicated, obstacles despite a good record in critical arenas of chief executive moves, humanitarianism, economics, and hard core politics which puts severe pressure on him even if he were twenty years younger..

But, he is eighty one and seems too fragile and slow to juggle all the balls that he must to keep in the air to keep the country and world running

He must find the strength.. There are no options.

I fear that Trump will cause an unacceptable amount of violent political behavior in his quest in winning the 2024 presidential election and that he will make a bigger mess of the world than is already happening.

I fear for Biden getting sick and the nation being left with an inept Kamala Harris as President or worse.

.

I have absolute faith in the constitution of the United States of America. I have total faith in the citizens of this democracy whoever they are and wherever they live that the majority of us want America to be a safe, lawful, patriotic two party nation.

I know that real patriots will not allow us to be sucked in and taken down by the fanatic election deniers drain who only want chaos.

We will come together again.

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OCD EATING ME ALIVE AND I AM 75

 Here I sit once again. Its a beautiful, windy day in southern Florida and I am so miserable. I am tormented by OCD(  obsessive compulsive disorder). I am writing partly because I am no longer a football fan and the NFL is raging on TV but I have no interest in any of the games and scores. I used to but 14 years ago after losing a fortune I quit gambling. I mean there is nothing more than I would love  bet football games than drive over to one of the casinos that is within minutes of my gated community and play hold em poker. But, I would lose. If not today than tomorrow, Because I have no control once I start to gamble. I'm powerless like I am over my OCD.  I cannot stop. I would go from poker, to the crap table to blackjack to baccarat while stopping in the sports book to bet games.

Normally, I would be outside playing golf or pickleball today. But, I hurt my 75 year old back yesterday overdoing the pickleball and there are no golf games today because all my golfing guys are watching football. 

Also, I have terrible OCD which has made my life miserable for as long as I can remember. I don't check the lights or the door over and over or any of that shit. My OCD is having obsessions in my mind demanding I seek retribution against anyone who has spoken to me insultingly, embarrassed me, or did something I think I have to rectify in a face to face confrontation. Not a physical fight because I am not violent. Words only.

 Right now, I have had this 82 year old guy on my mind who insulted me several years ago in an old mans softball game.. I have tried to find him several times to say "you owe me an apology" and I have looked for him at a bunch of ballfields and bars he used to go to but with no luck.

I did talk to him and text him but he just would not give me the satisfaction of really listening to me so I could get that apology. So, seeing him face to face is the only thing I want to do which I am sure will make things worse since he does not even know anything is wrong.

Also, I have been in real trouble for chasing after other people who I had gotten into an argument with, or who had intimidated me begging them to to either shake hands, apologize to me, allow me to explain myself or anything to get rid of the thought that I had to confront them off my mind. Desensitization is the word.

It has resulted in harmless physical fighting, and all kinds of other things so I could stop thinking about someone who offended me. The problem is that if I actually settle an issue another issue pops up and the mental torment returns, Or, the same issue gets mor complicated.

My OCD is never about hurting anyone I am chasing. I never have hurt anyone intentionally.  Anyway, I know where this 82 year old guy lives and plays ball. Trouble comes after I do occasionally chase someone down. Because I always want to tell them more after the confrontation is over and since they do not know its OCD and then they get scared and the next thing you know I'm standing in front of lawyers and a judge.

So, I am afraid to really go to this guys house or keep chasing him around places where he goes became I 'm lucky I have not found him or this could already be a much bigger problem. It always happens that way. This man probably does not even remember the little nothing argument we had. Also, he would think I was crazy if he listened to my whole spiel. Then, I'd be obsessed trying to get him let me explain to him I was not crazy.

So, without going further this is OCD and has nothing to do with anything but my own sick mind. I try and try to let this go like all the other obsessions I have experienced but it is an almost superhuman feat to change thinking that tells you to do the wrong thing instead of the right thing which is work on myself and not a symbol.. Believe me, I have had a ton of therapy, pills, meditation, and other writing. 

My OCD still comes down to me accepting it and not trying to fight the OCD but realizing its really me that is the problem and not some guy I do not care about. 

I'm not going to edit this story and keep editing until its a worthy article. This is all about me. Thanks.

David 

COMPULSIVE GAMBLING: THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVER

Gambling. One of the nastiest monsters of the world. Feed it and it eats your soul. Starve it and it destroys your mind. To a real compulsive gambler the loss of gambling is good reason for perpetual mourning. Every ounce of desire in your body craves going back to gambling again.

The adrenaline, the euphoria, the joy of knowing you will be in action is enough to inspire any gambler to gamble again or relapse no matter how much they have lost. I am not just talking about lost money. I am talking about lost health, family, and friends. About losing everything that matters.

I gambled for over 50 years and lost it all. In the last nine years I have quit gambling and slowly rebuilt my life. Yet, I continue to long for my greatest friend and unconditional lover. Gambling. But I am no longer owned by that urge. I own it. But, I only own it one day at a time. So I stay on guard and keep working with other compulsive gamblers continually or I know I am doomed. Each day, I commit to not gambling that day and then I get to the next day. It's not easy but it's way better than dying.

I was a very big gambler betting on sports, craps, blackjack, anything at all. I would win or lose thousands of dollars a day. I had lost well over a million dollars in my life before I stopped gambling nine years ago. My last bet was on January 9, 2009. I also lost my priceless soul. I was a total degenerate.

The addiction of compulsive gambling is the same for all affected whether one bets nickels or thousands of dollars. It's all about powerlessness over gambling. A compulsive gambler cannot stop permanently without help. The help comes from joining Gamblers Anonymous which is totally free.

No one stops gambling on their own permanently. Will power alone will not make it. I tried many times and would stop for a few months or longer. But, the urge to gamble again waited patiently to take me down. Eventually, I would start gambling. I could not understand that I needed the help of other compulsive gamblers to stop gambling permanently. I quit over and over. But, I could not stay sober from betting.

Being destroyed financially, mentally, and emotionally is not enough. The monster inside my brain and every other compulsive gamblers brain still lives on unaffected by logic and reason. It says "You can do it David." You can set limits, you can avoid going out of control and enjoy the thrill of being in action." My rational mind keeps speaking at the same time. "Go to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting David. You are getting false messages. You are doomed if you gamble. You know that."

I do know that now. The gambling demon in my brain does not go away. It never will But, the evil voice tears at my irrational mind and says "just do it. "You will do it like a normal person this time. You will be ok" My logical mind needs constant reinforcement to say no to that urge everyday of my life. It says "David, you have tried to stop gambling and cannot do it alone."

My abnormal mind is a powerful, self destructive force that needs no nourishment. It never starves and is endlessly patient. It waits and waits tirelessly inside of myself and inside every other compulsive gambler. It says "Come to me David. You want me" It stalks me and tempts me like the sick, twisted, sociopath it is.

My solution, my lifelong answer came when I started to attend Gamblers Anonymous meetings regularly which are filled with people just like me. I faithfully attend GA meetings weekly, every week, no matter what else is happening. My GA meetings are the biggest responsibility I have. Meetings come before work, family, or anything else because I know that gambling will either drive me insane, put me in jail, or kill me.

So, I know that my life depends on not gambling and I need the support of other compulsive gamblers continually. I stay abstinent by going to Gamblers Anonymous meetings and sharing my feelings with other gamblers whether young or old whether they have been abstinent for one day or thirty years. I know that I need the positive reinforcement I get from being at GA meetings which are plentiful all over the country and the world.

I work the 12 steps of recovery with a sponsor and at group meetings. I deal with personal defects that caused me endless pain and suffering from gambling. Only from GA can I get the strength and support of others just like me who help me through each day.

Compulsive Gamblers all share the same feelings. Only other compulsive gamblers understand each other regardless of age, nationality, beliefs or any other denominator. We are all the same because we are powerless over gambling and our lives are unmanageable. It's easy to understand but tough to accept and stick with. But, thousands of men and women are recovering compulsive gamblers.

Look up Gamblers Anonymous online and find out where to call and where the local meetings are in your area. Google it.

Its easy to check out. A spouse or friend can check it out for you. There is a free, twenty four hour a day non stop helpline that can be called by anyone, anytime. Try it. 

I have not gambled a penny since January 9, 2009. If I can stop anybody can.

But, only with help.

You can only win if you don't play.

     COMPULSIVE GAMBLING DESTROYS                                                    

Update December 12, 2023

The adrenaline, the euphoria, the joy of knowing you will be in action is enough to inspire any gambler to gamble again and again  no matter how much they have lost. I am not just talking about lost money. I am talking about lost health, jobs,  family, and friends. 

About losing everything that matters.

I gambled for over 50 years and lost it all. In the last 14 years since 2009, I have quit gambling and slowly rebuilt my life. Yet, I continue to long for my greatest friend and unconditional lover. 

Gambling.

Now, I am no longer owned by that gambling urge. I own it. But, I only own it only day at a time. So, I stay on guard and keep working with other compulsive gamblers continually or I know I am doomed. 

Each day I commit to not gambling that day and to get to the next day without making a bet. Gambling is an incurable, lifelong disease. That is the bad news. 

The good  news is the condition can be arrested.

 You can stop.

It's not easy but it's much better than going to jail, an asylum, or the cemetery. Those are the only alternatives. That has been proven time and time again. 

I was a very big gambler at times betting box car numbers on sports, craps, blackjack, or anything at all, everyday. I would win or lose hundreds of thousands of dollars. I had lost well over 1 million dollars before I stopped gambling in 2009. 

Or, I would go back to betting pennies,

It was never about the money. It was only about the action.

I also lost  my priceless soul by stealing, lying, and cheating. I was dirt to myself and all the people who loved me. My self respect and that of others came back to me in bits and pieces only when I stopped.   

I lost  over a million dollars, Many will never trust me again with good reason regardless of how I have redeemed myself.

The addiction of compulsive gambling is the same for all of us affected whether one bets nickels or millions of dollars. We are powerless. Gamblers cannot stop. Help is needed.

The help comes from joining Gamblers Anonymous (GA) which is a totally free fellowship. There are meetings all over the country. Free..

Just hit the Google button.

No one stops gambling on their own permanently. Will power alone will not make it. I tried many times and would stop for a few months or longer. 

But, the urge to gamble waited patiently to take me down again and again. I would stay abstinent for one month to three years. Eventually, I would start gambling again.

I could not understand that I needed the help of other compulsive gamblers to quit gambling permanently. I always thought I could stop on my own. I never wanted to. 

So, I would say I was different. I insisted I did not need Gamblers Antonymous.

Being destroyed financially, mentally, and emotionally was not enough to stop me. The monster inside my brain and every other compulsive gamblers brain still lives on unaffected by logic and reason.

 It says "come back to me. I love you no matter what you have done. You can gamble David. You can set limits, you can avoid going out of control and just enjoy the thrill of being in action like a normal person.”

Simultaneously, my rational mind always kept speaking the painful truth constantly saying. “You are powerless., you cannot stop gambling on your own."

My compulsive gambling mental illness is much smarter and stronger than my will.

"You are doomed if you gamble David.” That is the true inner voice.

That truth must be accepted 100%.about the impossibility of successfully gambling if you are a compulsive gambler. There are no halfway measures.

I do know that now. The gambling demon in my brain will never go away.! But, it can be stopped from doing any more damage.

The evil, patient, clever voice lies and tears at my rational mind and keeps saying "Just do it. You will be okay." 

My  powerless mind needs constant reinforcement to continue saying no to that urge present everyday of my life. 

 Now It says "David, you have tried to stop gambling and cannot do it alone. Go to a gamblers anonymous meeting, Contact your GA. friends."

My sick mind is a powerful, self destructive force that needs no nourishment. It never starves and is endlessly patient. It waits and waits tirelessly inside myself and inside every other compulsive gambler. It screams "Come back to me David. You want me."

It stalks me and tempts me like the sick, twisted, sociopath it is.

But, it can be beaten.

My solution, my lifelong answer came when I started to attend Gamblers Anonymous meetings regularly which are filled with people just like me. I faithfully attend several Gamblers Anonymous meetings weekly, every week, no matter what else is happening. 

My Gamblers Anonymous meetings are the biggest responsibility I have. My life depends on my fellow compulsive gamblers who are exactly like me and you.. They are continually at weekly meetings and you can find meetings no matter where live,.

Gamblers Anonymous come before work, family, or anything else because I know that gambling again will either drive me insane, put me in jail, or kill me.

So, I know that my life depends on not gambling and I need the support of other compulsive gamblers continually. I stay abstinent by going to meetings and sharing my feelings with other gamblers whether young or old and whether they have been abstinent for one day or thirty years.

I know that I need the positive reinforcement I get from being at GA meetings which are plentiful all over the country and the world. 

Just Google gamblers anonymous. Call the   any of the 24/7 phone services or have someone call for you. 

I work the 12 steps of recovery alone, with a sponsor, and at group meetings. I deal with the personal defects that caused me endless pain and suffering from gambling. 

Recovery heals the soul and improves the person. That is for later. Now, it is time to find out about stopping gambling.

Only from Gamblers Anonymous can I get the strength and support of others just like you who help me through each day.

Compulsive Gamblers all share the same feelings. Only other compulsive gamblers understand each other regardless of age, nationality, beliefs or any other denominator. 

We are all the same because we are all powerless over gambling and our lives are unmanageable. 

It's an easy concept to understand but tough to accept and stick with. But, hundreds of thousands of men and women all over the world are successfully recovering compulsive gamblers.

Look up Gamblers Anonymous online and find out where to call and where the local meetings are in your area.  Punch up Compulsive Gambling on Google..

 There are thousands of meetings throughout the country everyday of the year. It is a totally FREE fellowship.

There are free, twenty four hour a day non stop helplines that can be called by anyone, anytime. Call it gamblers and spouses. It may save your life.

You can also just punch up meeting lists and walk into any meeting. You will be welcomed with open arms.

I have not gambled a penny since January 9, 2009. Before that I gambled everyday for over fifty years..

If I can stop anybody can.

But, only with help.

You can win only but only if you don't play.

Gambling is my deadly lover who I never intend to return to.

Compulsive gambling is the devil.

The National Helpline is:

1-855 479-2743

 It is a FREE call for gamblers. spouses or friends

It is an access point to local resources for those seeking information about a gambling problem.

Just check it out wherever you live. 

Give it a try

You cannot lose.

GARBAGE SOCIAL MEDIA TWITTER AND X VIOLATED MY RIGHTS

      

   Twitter and Laura Ingraham still SUCK

 Twitter is the same liars and low life’s they always have been. They banned me in 2015 about a tweet I posted about Laura Ingraham, the piece of garbage Fox entertainer. 

Twitter sent me a letter of apology admitting they were wrong for banning me and they apologized for unfairly banishing me because I violated no rules. 

Then, a few days ago Twitter and X said I was fully reinstated. I tried to sign in. 

However, they still will not allow me to sign in until I delete the Ingraham post. A post they admitted in writing that they said was not a violation. Can I sue? No. She is still scum as is Twitter and X. They are afraid of liability. They should be.