Jackhammer Blasts OCD Sufferers Brain

I live in a beautiful studio apartment on the top floor of a fancy high rise in Chicago. I treasure my quiet, insulated space because I get freaked out so easily by noise, barking dogs, or any other disturbance that upsets my tranquility. It is caused by Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that causes me to interpret any intrusion as a threat to my peace of mind. Therefore, if a neighbor makes noise by playing loud music or walking loudly on the floor above I am on guard.


I feel I have to confront that person about the problem that I perceived. If that person turns out to be friendly and sympathetic and apologetic I would no longer care about the noise. I would get instant relief. If it was a person who acted angry or indifferent towards my complaint then I would start obsessing about confronting that person again and again intent on getting satisfaction..


This aspect of my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD ) has led to endless anxiety and many terrible and complicated confrontations with people. The problem is really not about the "noise". It is about me feeling victimized or bullied, which is my lifelong obsession.


I have been living in this same unit for over four years. Until last week I had never had any problem with my next door neighbor. I talked to this nice young lady only one time before to ask her not to close her door so loudly early in the morning when she went to work. The door closing woke me because it is located next to the wall my bed is next to. She said "I'm sorry" when I explained my discomfort and I never heard the door close loudly again and forgot about this annoyance. Even when she occasionally closed the door sharply I still did not care. I did not feel victimized or feel any need to confront her..



A few days ago I was awakened to the blasting sound of a jackhammer tearing into the attached wall. I couldn't believe what was happening. It was like a bombardment. I walked out into the hallway and heard the sounds of men working and jackhammering in the next door apartment. I knocked on the door and one of the building foremen working there, who I know, opened it. I said "what's going on?" He told me the condo had been sold and there would be construction with jackhammering going on until the end of the day. I told him that the noise was going to drive me crazy because I am home all day in my office. He said "don't worry, there will be only one day of this."



I left the building to get away from the noise but was beside myself with anxiety. What if the project was not over at the end of the day? But, OK I thought, maybe it will be. I tried to convince myself. I could not.


I came back home at night. Quiet. No construction could be done after 5 pm. The next day at 9 am. the jackhammer was exploding again into my wall. I went next door again and asked the foreman why the noise was still continuing, The foreman then told me that I should not worry. The noise would be over soon. I said "You told me it would be over yesterday" You didn't say anything about this going on today also."


He said that I had misunderstood him. The jackhammering should have been finished the day before, he agreed, but the job took longer then expected. He said the jackhammer would be done within a few hours. He apologized.

I asked " What about the rest of the job"?

He said the entire job would take two weeks. I asked "what else is involved?". He said "Just normal construction, nothing very disturbing." You will hear very little." I felt lied to again.
 

The next day there was loud noise from drilling, hammering, sawing, and scraping, i went to the building office to complain. I was told that Monday through Friday construction was permitted 9 am to 5 pm. Nobody would discuss it further. I would have to live with it.


So, I had a new problem which was the job would be lasting two weeks. Not one day which is what I thought. Also, I started to worry about the foreman being mad at me for complaining and intentionally making the noise worse whenever he could. I had always gotten along with him before. Not now. I feared him.


I could hardly sleep all night waiting for the noise to start again the next day. My brain was on fire with anxiety. I also had an appointment with a new shrink that day. I left to see the shrink before 9 am to avoid the noise I knew I would hearing. I sat at a Starbucks near the shrinks office for hours while a big construction project was going on outside. That loud noise never even bothered me.

I introduced myself to this new shrink and immediately launching into a whole hour about this jackhammer issue and all the related situations like this one that have dominated my life and caused me to be continually wracked with anxiety.

The shrink listened and then told me he could not help me immediately. I asked for medicine like Prozac, an SSRI .(brain pill in plain English) which I had resisted taking again for years because of side effects I had experienced long ago. I was ready to give medicine another try.

He said he had to see me again to understand more before prescribing medicine. He did give me some good advice reinforcing what I already knew.He said that none of my concerns about noises had anything to do with the real issue of low self esteem and my definition of being victimized and my concept of manhood tied into my anxiety.


I was tortured with anxiety about the loud noise I knew I would hear when I returned home all through the session.i was in a full blown OCD episode.



I went back home and heard the loud noises pouring through the wall.. I lasted about fifteen minutes listening to the screech of drills and the pounding of hammers and the scream of wood being sawed. Then, I jumped up and again knocked on the door and the foreman again opened it. His facial expression indicated he had had enough of me.


I said I needed to talk to him again outside. I gave him a cash Christmas present to sweeten him up. Then I said "the noise is loud and it is very disturbing which is not what you promised" He said "let me show you" and he took me into the apartment to show me exactly what was being done.

That was the best thing he could do to turn off my OCD. He had tried to make me feel better with some TLC. That was and always is the key to my overcoming these crazy obsessions..



With that gesture I started to release the anxiety I was overwhelmed with. The foreman showed understanding and compassion and I no longer felt victimized by the noise of the work being done.

Soon, I was back in my apartment concentrating on working and didn't even care about the noise for the next two weeks other then when it would get really loud. Then, I would just tune it out.like a normal person would...


It is Christmas day today and the apartment next door is silent. I keep listening for noises that I envision could be coming from the new owner who I saw had left some personal cleaning supplies. I am worried about any possible confrontations with this person who will be moving in. Is he noisy? Does he slam the door? Does he have a dog? Does he have loud parties?.


I had asked the foreman questions about the new owner and he said he knew very little except he was a young man. I automatically started wishing I could just make friends with this new owner fast and that we liked each other. Then, I would not be bothered by noises made in that apartment. I would be OK with his understanding if I ever needed it.


The life of a person with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is miserable.


It's a pain in the brain.

Jackammer Drills Into OCD Victims Head

I live in a convertible studio on the top floor of a high rise in Chicago. I treasure my quiet, insulated space because I get freaked out so easily by noise, barking dogs, or any other disturbance that upsets my tranquility.

It is all from my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder that causes me to interpret any intrusion as a threat to my peace of mind. Therefore, if a neighbor made noise by playing loud music or walking loudly on the floor above I would always be listening for the noise. I would feel I had to confront that person about the problem that I perceived.

If it turned out to be a kind, friendly person who apologized I would no longer care about the noise. If it was a neighbor who acted angry or indifferent towards my complaint then the problem would only bother me more. This aspect of my OCD has led to endless anxiety and many confrontations with people. The problem is really not about the "noise". It is about me feeling victimized or bullied, my lifelong obsession.

 I have been living in this condominium for over four years.  Until last week I had never had any problem with my new next door neighbor who had just moved in a few months before.  I talked to this nice young lady only one time to ask her to not close her door so loudly early in the morning when she went to work. The door closing woke me up because it is located next to the wall my bed is next to. She said sorry and I never heard the door close loudly again and forgot about this annoyance.

A few days ago I was awakened to the head banging sound of a jackhammer blasting away into the attached wall. I couldn't believe what was happening. I walked out into the hallway and heard the sounds of men working and jackhammering in the next door apartment.

 I knocked on the door and one of the building foreman working there I know opened it. He told me the condo  had been sold and there would be construction going on until the end of the day. I told him that the noise was going to drive me crazy because I am home all day in my home office.

I left and was beside myself with anxiety. What if the project was not over at the end of the day? Who would the new neighbor be? But, OK I thought, it will be over at the end of the day. Somehow, I did not believe him.

I left and came back home at the next day and the jackhammer was still exploding noise into my wall. I went next door again and asked the foreman why the noise was still continuing, The foreman then told me that I should not worry. The noise would be over soon., . I said "you told me it would be over yesterday"
"You didn't say anything about this going on today also."

He said  that I had misunderstood him. The jackhammering should have been done the day before but the crew was late. He said it would be done within a few hours. He apologized  I asked " What about the rest of the job"?  He said the entire job  would take two weeks. I said what is involved. He said "Just normal construction, nothing very disturbing." You will hear very little."  I felt lied to again.

I said "I want to go down to the office and talk to the building manager". He said "fine, lets go". We did and the office did not even know there was construction going on in that space and told the foreman to provide the proper papers and get construction approval. The foreman said OK and he left. Nobody would discuss noise when I protested..

So, I had a new problem which was the job would be lasting two weeks. Also, I started to worry about  the foreman being mad at me and making the noise worse whenever he could. I had always gotten along with him. Not now.

 I was told by the building manager the building rules allowed for construction in apartments between 9 am and 5 pm Monday through Saturday. Period.

 I could not sleep all night waiting for the noise to start the next day.. I also had an appointment with a new shrink that same morning to go to. I ended up getting a few hours of bad sleep because I was on fire with anxiety. I left before 9am tortured with anxiety about loud noise I knew I would hear when I returned home.

I ended up introducing myself to this new shrink and immediately launching into a whole hour about this jackhammer issue and all the related situations like this one that have dominated my life and caused me to be  continually wracked with anxiety. The shrink listened and then told me he could not help me immediately. I asked for a medicine like Prozac, an SSRI, (brain pill in plain English) which I had resisted taking again for years because of side effects I had experienced long ago. I was ready again.

He said he had to see me again to understand more before prescribing medicine. He did give me some good advice reinforcing what I already knew which was that none of my concerns about noises had anything to do with the real issue of low self esteem and my definition of being victimized and my concept of manhood..

I went back home and heard loud noises but no jackhammering. I lasted about fifteen minutes listening to the screech of drills and the pounding of hammers.  I again knocked on the door and the foreman opened it. His facial expression indicated he had had enough of me.

I said I needed to talk to him again outside and gave him a cash Christmas present to sweeten him up. I said "the noise is loud and it is very disturbing which is not what you said"   He said "let me show you" and took me into the apartment to show me exactly what was being done.

As he did that I started to lose some of the anxiety I had built up. Soon I was back in my apartment concentrating on working and didn't even care about the noise.

 It is Christmas day today and the apartment next door is silent. I keep listening for noises that I envision could be coming from the new owner who I saw had left some cleaning supplies. I am worried about any possible confrontations with this person who is the new owner.

 I asked the foreman questions about the new owner and he said he knew very little except he was a young man.. I automatically started thinking about parties, noise, loud music and wished I could just make friends with this new owner..

The life of a person with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is miserable.