Viagra Does The Job Saving My Relationship

  I woke up this morning in terror about my life. Broke and three days from being homeless thanks to my fucking girlfriend - ex-girlfriend. She gave me the boot just because my old dick won't go up all the time. Ok. Most of the time . Fine. Almost never. I get it. My dick is really a problem. But, its only been bad for 7 or 8 years.  No big deal I tell her. "That's right" she says. "Your dick used to be a big deal. Now its mush just like the person its attached to. You two belong together. Two worthless . I don't know.... Things.  Three days to find another sucker for free rent . Good luck. Your ex- main asset  is now as useless as rotten eggs"

  I hobbled over to to  the computer table to take my pills. I glanced at the computer screen and my heart jumped.. I'm not too sharp but I do know a good deal when I see one. She thinks I'm dumb. Ha.

 There it was. On the screen in big, bold print  an offer that said." We can make you wealthy without even putting your socks on". I looked over at my ugly, dirty, smelly socks .I was pumped. I'll show her who' s dumb I thought"

  I dialed the number in the ad. A lady answered. This is Ginny,"can I help you? "Yes, yes you can Ginny" "Thank goodness I called you" I'm Dave and I'm glad to tell you I haven't put my socks on.

. "What about your socks sir" Call me Dave please "Your socks? "Yeah Ginny. "My socks".
. " I just read your ad and it said "you can make me wealthy without me even putting on my socks."
So Ginny, how will you make me wealthy"?Sir" "It's Dave. Dave.
 "Ok Dave You want money " You'll have to apply.

"No.No.No. Your ad said you could make me wealthy without putting my socks on."
"so, let's get  started".

"Who are you please" I'm Dave " "and you want what"? I want you to make me wealthy". I haven't put my socks on so I'm qualified Ginny." "Uh Sir"." I mean Dave".

"How much did you want to apply to borrow Dave"?  "Borrow" I gasped. "Your ad only says you can make me rich without putting my socks on. There is nothing in your ad about borrowing."

"I don't understand why you are talking about". "Your socks?.
 "Ginny,you have an ad that says that you can make me rich without putting my socks on."
" Why would we loan you money for not putting your socks on"?
"Ginny,  I don't  know but you can get in trouble if you don't honor your ads."
"Trouble" "I'm just a temp here". I don't want any trouble."

  You have to fill out an application if you wish to apply for a loan"? "What is your email'? "

Why do you want my email"? "So I can send you a loan application Dave". "I just said I don't want a loan. I want you to make me a rich. I have put on my socks so I'm qualified"
"Um" Sir, I mean Dave"
I'm just a temp here. We don't sell socks."

"Oh, I get it" "Your ad was a bait and switch" "You sucked me in'
"You can get in a lot of trouble for false advertising."
"Trouble" "trouble" I'm just a temp here. I don't want to cause any trouble."
"Now, I would like the phone number of  the owner so I can sue  for false advertising"
"You wont get in any trouble if you just give me the owners name and number"

"I don't know it Dave" "Just ask anyone who has authority in your office". They'll know it"
"Hold on please" "It's Bob Johnson Dave at 7776543. He's actually the owner of the company" "He's in in the mornings."

"i called Mr. Johnson and left a voice mail explaining my interest in his company making me wealthy.
It's been two days and he has'nt called me back.
But is all good now. I won't be homeless for a while. i conned my friend out of the 100 mg Viagras so I figure I have another week left here.

'

 

Drunken Bitch In My Lyft

Drunken bitch gets in my #Lyft car and says take her to an address near downtown Chicago. We arrive at the destination but she insists that we are not in the right place. The GPS indicates we are,

She gets abusive and starts screaming at  me to take her to the place she wants to go to. I say we are there.  She is screaming like the disgusting spoiled brat she is threatening that she will have me locked up if I will not keep driving to get  her to this imaginary destination. I tell her that the ride is over, that the meter is off, and to leave the car.
She refuses. She says that her dad is a policeman. I hand her my phone and tell her to call him. She screams unintelligibly again and demands I get her to this fictitious address. As I was about to call the cops I see three  of them walking towards my car.

I open the door and start yelling at them to get this drunken nut out of my car. They pull her out after seeing she is drunk. I drive away with her now screaming at the police.

Long Shot Lover Goes Ballistic

                                              Online Lovers Nightmare

I saw this beautiful black haired woman on an online dating site. She was about 45, tall, and classy looking. Her profile said she lived in a fancy suburb outside Chicago, and that she was divorced and had no kids living at home. Perfect person for me, an inveterate professional online dating love junkie 55 years old, good looking, smooth talking and a great hustler of women.

 I sent her an email on match.com which is the online site. She saw my profile and which showed my pictures, age, religion, income, likes and dislikes. All the stuff that is supposed to matter. It may to some. Pictures and not having kids living at home and a convenient location are the only things that matter to me.

She sent her phone number and we chatted briefly and then she told me that she was going to be at this bar a few nights later to meet a girl friend. I asked if I could meet her before her girlfriend got there and she said yes. But, I would only have about 20 minutes to impress her because when her girlfriend showed up I had to leave. What a great bitch!!

I was in love immediately. I was as excited as I got dressed in my only Calvin Klein jeans and only polo shirt. See, I am an online fraud. A guy who has nothing because of gambling and bad investments but who loves to chase women and act like I’m solid personally and financially when in fact I am a mess. The, maybe I find a sugar mama here and there.

I sped to this restaurant in the North Shore and there she was sitting at the bar looking even better then her pictures. I introduced myself and she initially appeared, from her body language, not be attracted me. She said good try but we were not a match. Then, her girlfriend came and sat down. Meanwhile, I was struggling to find a way to get Trudy captivated and couldn’t. Her girlfriend however saved me by starting to talk to some guy and the pressure to for me to leave abated.

I kept working Trudy psychologically to seduce her mind and body until I could feel her really look at me as I was telling another story. Her eyes twinkled. I knew she was interested. I asked if I still had to go send she said no, not now because her girlfriend was intensely engaged  in a conversation with the guy. So, I just keep on talking to Trudy and pretty soon she stopped looking at her girlfriend and other people and got close to my face and only saw me.

An hour later I asked her if she wanted to take a ride and go to another bar. She said yes after checking with her girlfriend who did not care. She was still involved with this guy. When we got into my car I tried to kiss Trudy and she said no. Easy boy. We went to another bar and stayed till 4 in the morning. I then dropped her off at her car and we agreed to see each other soon. I was totally in love. My love junkie addiction was triggered along with my survival instincts. I had very little money. But, I was walking on the clouds.

I called the next day and we talked for hours. We made plans to go out together for dinner. We went out a few more times with me continually trying to get her turned on but the most that ever happened was hot kissing. I could not afford her. After about a month she finally invited me in her house and we sat by the fire place and made out more only this time we got into petting. Well, we petted and petted for weeks until we had done everything imaginable . We would have some wine, smoke reefer, and swallow each other up endlessly with necking and petting.

But, the bedroom was always waiting upstairs and she would never take me there. Finally, in the midst of being in the throws of passion on the couch she stood up, pointed her finger at the stairs leading to the bedroom. We jumped in bed and fucked all night and all the next day. She came and came and came. She was totally selfish and cared nothing about my satisfaction. She just wanted me to do her right. I did. She said I was the greatest lover in her long history and maybe in the world. This went on for months.

She never let me stay over, never offered any food, and was completely critical of everything I did besides how I made love to her, She never shared any intimacies with me. She was a plain and simple spoiled, sarcastic bitch. But, it was fun getting to her sexually.

She called me the million dollar baby because she thought I was such a long shot to ever end up being her lover we met. She continually questioned out loud how she could be as turned on to someone as not classy, uneducated, and as unsuccessful as me because I was not a professional like she was used to being with..

But, she loved the way I got her off and we literally spent the whole fall season in her bed eventually not even going out. Just wine, dope, and her bed and then me getting kicked out every time afterward. No kindness from her, no appreciation, no invitations for anything more then banging her. Somehow, it all felt perfect though. I loved the torture of not getting all of her when I still thought I wanted to.

So, we finally decided to leave the confines of her bedroom to go somewhere else to fuck. We set up a trip to a small town bed and breakfast. On the way there I happened to disagree with her about some minor issue. The bitch would not talk to me for 2 hours until we got to the bed and breakfast. She threw a total tantrum of silence.. Finally, we got to the bed and breakfast and  went out to dinner. We were still hardly talking.

When the check came I asked her to pay for half the bill since she had belligerently agreed to pay for half the vacation. She literally threw a couple hundred dollar bills at me as if I were garbage. I said thank you very gently to torment her. She wanted to fight.. Suddenly, I saw only the poison behind her great looks. We came back to the inn and had angry sex and went to sleep.

The next morning she wanted to go for a ride in the sand dunes right near by. I thought it was a bad idea because it was storming and freezing and we could get stuck on the beach. She demanded we go anyway. Sure enough, there we were stuck on a beach trapped in a giant sand dune with no help around. The more I tried to get out of the dune the deeper I got stuck. There were a few four wheelers driving around because it was treacherous on this beach. Hardly anyone was out

Finally, a ranger came by and tried to help. Trudy said that I would never be able to follow his directions as he chained his vehicle to my car to pull me out. Trudy demanded I let her drive. At the same time she was yelling at me the ranger was trying to tell me what to do. So, as that nasty head of hers was babbling in my one ear about how stupid I was to get stuck the ranger was yelling instructions from his vehicle on how to get out.

. I finally screamed loudly at Trudy to shut the fuck up calling her a fucking bitch. She was shocked as if no one had ever spoken to her that way. We finally got out of the dune. As soon as we hit the road Trudy jumped out of the car which was literally in the middle of nowhere. Some other guys were driving by and she stuck her thumb out to hitch a ride as I followed. She got in their truck and I chased them. I really did not care about this bitch anymore but I could not just leave her in that truck and drive away. What if something happened?  We were a hundred miles from Chicago in a torrential storm. I was actually afraid for her.

Finally, I pulled up beside the guys driving her and explained that she was crazy and they had to get her out of their truck.. They did and after twenty minutes of her walking her fancy ass down the road she was too frozen to continue and got back in my car. Finally, she broke the silence with a rant about how she could have gotten us out of the dune without any help.

She screamed on and on. I just wanted to get her back home again because now she was nothing more then a lunatic out of an Alfred Hitchcock movie. But we were two hours from home. I still had not said a word back to her.

Suddenly, she violently shook her finger at my face and asked why I had screamed up, you fucking bitch at her. I said because she was a fucking bitch.

She then punched me in the side of the face as I was driving. I knew our fate was sealed then for sure and beyond redemption. Someone who resorts to violence will do it again and again.

I said not a word afterward. She had not hurt me. I finally got her within a few blocks of her house. She started to talk to me again. To try and bail out. She said about herself that maybe I need to get some help.

Will I forgive her?

I still said nothing as I finally pulled into her driveway. She called me several times afterward and I would not talk to her giving her no reinforcement for stalking me or other craziness I realized she was capable of.

I think I might be hurt or dead if I was still with this piece of crap, insane demented beauty. There are many fatal attractions out there.

Be careful