OCD which stands for obsessive compulsive behavior is such a gigantic subject with so many tentacles that I will just speak to what I have learned through personal experience because all OCD sufferers share a common nucleus in their disease.
Fear.
It is the root of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It applies to all sufferers no matter how disconnected they are.
We all share the same root cause. Fear.
Whether your OCD manifests itself through commonly understood actions like continual hand washing, checking the door lock, counting to 1000 before you can fall asleep, and thousands of other acts, or, if your OCD lives strictly in your brain by unchangeable thoughts of hurting your friend, jumping across a pond of alligators, or challenging a prize fighter to a boxing match it's the same mental disorder.
OCD is entirely rooted in fear of doing the unknown. Its an urge to perform some action to get relief. An action to take away an urge however rational or irrational it is.
We have the same dysfunctional brain of an addicted alcoholic, gambler, overeater, sex addict or any other abnormality open to excess.
Many people with OCD are also cross addicted.
Performing a compulsion to get relief no matter how insane it seems to be is the only way to end a relentless urge.
Maybe so but only temporarily. No matter how sure you are it will go away if you wash your hands one more time it will not go away.
The same urge or another urge will pop up and keep torturing you relentlessly.
I am not talking about this monster OCD taking small amounts of time either. It can be 24/7/365 with no time for lunch.
I am talking about lives that are consumed for hours, days, weeks, months, and years by OCD.
Understanding that OCD is not you but the anxiety from it that drives you crazy, destroys your life, ruins your relationships, and messing up everything else in its path is critical.
Focus on that. It true.
It has sent me to brigades of Dr,s prescribing SSRI pills, meditation, working out, writing, and whatever else provides relief at various times.
Unfortunately, as good as it feels to perform a compulsion that same compulsion will either come back or another will take its place, There is no permanently beating the OCD monster.
But, you can fight the symptoms to a standoff.
I am a 73 year old retired single male who lives very comfortably in Florida and whose financial independence arrived through plain old lady luck. It is truly a no brains required life. Thank goodness.
However, everyday is a ferocious fight to not act out on one of my brutal painful impulses that will either kill me, put me in jail, or make me go insane, A few of those things have already happened several times.
Fear is my issue if you are curious just like yours is. Mine is easy to understand. It gives me a pit in my stomach and a sweaty forehead. It is connected to my flight or fight mechanism.
If someone insults me, bullies me, or victimizes me in any way I will ruminate endlessly and try to vindicate myself for not standing up to whoever the perpetrator was.
Usually, I do not have the awareness or guts to act at the time an incident happens which sets me on a torturous course of "what ifs"? Than, I will be overwhelmed with anxiety until I find relief.
Unfortunately, no amount of actions on my part whether justified or not keeps the next compulsion from coming back to invade my life.
If that understanding only stuck when the next OCD event happened it would be a miracle.
Forget it. Each situation is fresh and triggers all the same reactions to relieve the new torment.
A big problem is that I am so afraid of is acting out on a compulsion and failing to gain even temporary relief only to make it worse and than spend tons of time attempting to resolve the exacerbated compulsion.
I cannot put into words the misery I have put myself into because of being afflicted with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
I just read an article from an OCD professional who advised sufferers not to focus on the compulsion but focus on the fact that it is anxiety and not anything else causing your problem.
I think those are very wise words to remember. The Dr. is spot on in my opinion.
I have found that writing, working out, meditating, using sedatives at certain times is the best answer to dealing with my OCD. There are many treatments.
OCD not going away but it can be stripped of its power by really looking at whats going on.
Good luck.
Google OCD or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
There is a lot of FREE help.
