Trump Confession TRUMP CONFESSES HE INVENTED THE BIG LIE

 

"I wish to confess" said the big man in front of the microphone with millions in attendance at the gigantic stadium and many more millions glued to televisions and radios throughout the United States and the world. 

Word had spread quickly. Her disgraced ex-president had called a press conference amid rumors that he would be speaking very soon about very important things.

 Torrents of sweat dripped off his face as he picked up the mic and held it out peering at the monstrously big crowd of over two million people gathered in Washington Square waiting for his words.. 

Plus, another seventy five million people throughout the country staring into television sets, computers,and every other viewing device invented and millions more listening  hearing by sound and text only. 

"That big lie that you all know about that I have been spreading and many of you believe about the 2020 election being stolen from me is just that. A big lie." 

Nobody stole the 2020 election from me. Joe Biden won the presidential election fair and square. I made up the stolen election lie like I have made up just about everything else I have told you. I haven't stopped lying since I won the 2016 election by some miracle."

"You know why?".Because I don't know any more about being the president than the man in the moon does. Also, I never cared about trying to figure out any of the things that real Presidents like Obama, Clinton, other s learned. 

"One thing after another fell my way and the next thing I knew I was taking that elevator down the lobby and getting ready to get inaugurated".

"So next thing I know I'm supposed to be at all these different meetings, events, strategy sessions, and being asked hard questions just like when I was in school and never had any answers. That's why I hid my IQ scores. I have barely average intelligence."

I thought I could get away forever with screaming about the border wall, crime, illegal aliens, fake news, and insulting people, places, and things which kept all of you cheering for me without me having to do a thing except be a cheerleader..

I was stuffing my pockets, taking care of my supporters and my kids and thinking that I really had hustled and conned the whole country and part of the world."

"Than, I got unlucky and the pandemic came, the economy went into the toilet, and the 2020 election was coming. I was amazed that about half the country was still listening to me and in fact the worse things got the more some lost souls fell in love with me".

I am just a New York street hustler and I do know how to read a sucker and I know how to bully people. To my amazement I realized that I could control the Republican party because the idiot Representatives and senators were scared to death that I would primary them and they would be out of office."

"So, I realized that I had to win the election or I would get burned legally because of all the illegal and unconstitutional things I had done."

Now, thank goodness for Joe Biden. He will hopefully clean up my mess."

This confession is coming because I made a deal with the Justice Dept. They agreed to drop any charges against my kids and myself in exchange for me giving up the power and control I have over you.

But, you have to come through for me one more time so they wont decide to prosecute me. You all need to start supporting good people who are mostly Democrats. They have to see guys like McCarthy, McConnell, and that whole batch of nasty allies of mine lose their power meaning stop giving them money. Also, start making political decisions on who is right and who is wrong morally rather than politically. 

If the Justice Dept sees that happening over the course of two years then they will drop all charges against me.

If not, I go to jail for life.

Come on, give me a break. We had some fun.