KICKED IN THE BALLS AND AFRAID TO FIGHT BACK
First time I remember getting bullied was standing in line at the entrance of Jones School when I was 7 years old. It was the first day of school. A kid named Larry who was my size and age asked me if I'd ever been kicked in the balls. I said "what are balls?" He pounded his foot into my scrotum and I keeled over in pain. He, and a few other people stood over me asking if I was ok. I recovered and whined "yes, I'm ok". Larry said nothing. Groaning, I asked him why he kicked me and he said that he felt like it and why don't you do something anything about it? I was scared to death he would kick me again.
I was standing up again. "Well" he challenged.
.What are you going to do? I said " Nothing. Just leave me alone ".
I was in the same class as Larry and I stayed as far away from him as I could https://www.blogger.com/blog/post/edit/2819147375098537888/7688584191152785782?hl=en the whole semester. I was nervous all the time. When I came home that first day I told John what had happened. He screamed "you better fight that kid in as soon as you see him or you'll be setting yourself up for getting bullied your whole life". I said "but I'm scared he'll hurt me. You John stuck up his hand. "Punch this hand as hard as you can until you can't punch anymore. I did and I was a skinny, tall kid with natural coordination. I swung furiously. Finally, after I was drenched in sweat John said "ok, that's good". You walk up to that kid and don't even let him get ready and then you start swinging right at his face the same way you were punching my hand." Can you do it? I looked at my brother's hopeful eyes. He loved me so much. He rubbed my head. "When can you see him without getting in trouble " "At recess" " Ok. Do it"
The next day Larry was outside at recess standing alone. I knew what I had to do but didn't have the guts to do it. That dilemma would be the predicate of my life sending me to shrinks, jail, getting kicked out of school. I spent and still spend countless years and years acting out in physical confrontation and fights trying to prove to Lloyd and myself that I had courage.
https://x.com/davidsplace1/status/1931703357292310971?s=46
ReplyDelete