COMPULSIVE GAMBLING CAN BE STOPPED

 

COMPULSIVE GAMBLING: AN UNCONDITIONAL LOVER

The adrenaline, the euphoria, the joy of knowing you will be in action is enough to inspire any gambler to gamble again and again or no matter how much they have lost. I am not just talking about lost money. I am talking about lost health, family,and friends.

About losing everything that matters.

I gambled for over 60 years and lost it all. In the last nine years I have quit gambling and slowly rebuilt my life. Yet, I continue to long for my greatest friend and unconditional lover. Gambling.

Now, I am no longer owned by that urge. I own it. I only own it onlyday at a time. So, I stay on guard and keep working with other compulsive gamblers continually or I know I am doomed. Each day I commit to not gambling that day get to the next day without making a bet.

Compusive gambling is an incurable, lifelong disease.That is the bad news. The could new the condition can be arrested. You can stop.

It's not easy but it's much better than going to jail, an asylum, or the cemetary.

I was a very big gambler betting on sports, craps, blackjack, or anything at all everyday. I would win or lose thousands of dollars. I have lost well over a million dollars before I stopped gambling over eleven years ago in 2009.

I lost everything including my priceless soul.

The addiction of compulsive gambling is the same for all affected whether one bets nickels or millions of dollars.We are powerless. Gamblers cannot stop. Help is needed.

The help comes from joining Gamblers Anonymous (GA) which is a totally free fellowship..

No one stops gambling on their own permanently. Will power alone will not make it. I tried many times and would stop for a few months or longer.

But, the urge to gamble waited patiently to take me down again and again I would stay abstinent for one month to three years. Eventually, I would start gambling.

I could not understand that I needed the help of other compulsive gamblers to quit gambling permanently\ I always thought I could stop on my own. I never wanted to. So, I would say I was different.

Being destroyed financially, mentally, and emotionally was not enough to stop me. . The monster inside my brain and every other compulsive gamblers brain still lives on unaffected by logic and reason. It says come back to me. I love you no matter what the circumstances are.

It says "You can do it David. You can set limits, you can avoid going out of control and just enjoy the thrill of being in action. like a normal person..”

Simultaneously, my rational mind keeps speaking the painful truth constantly saying. “you are powerless., you cannot stop gambling on your own”. My compulsive gambling mental illness is much smarter and stronger than my will.

You are doomed if you gamble David.”

I do know that now. The gambling demon in my brain does not go away. It never will.

But, the evil voice tears at my irrational mind and says "just do it.” You will be okay My logical mind needs constant reinforcement to say no to that urge everyday of my life. It says "David, you have tried to stop gambling and cannot do it alone" Go to a gamblers anonymous meeting, call your GA. friends.

My abnormal mind is a powerful, self destructive force that needs no nourishment. It never starves and is endlessly patient. It waits and waits tirelessly inside myself and inside every other compulsive gambler. It says "Come to me David. You want me"

It stalks me and tempts me like the sick, twisted, sociopath it is.

My solution, my lifelong answer came when I started to attend Gamblers Anonymous meetings regularly which are filled with people just like me. I faithfully attend GA meetings weekly, every week, no matter what else is happening. My GA meetings are the biggest responsibility I have.

Meetings come before work, family, or anything else because I know that gambling will either drive me insane, put me in jail, or kill me.

So, I know that my life depends on not gambling and I need the support of other compulsive gamblers continually. I stay abstinent by going to meetings and sharing my feelings with other gamblers whether young or old whether they have been abstinent for one day or thirty years.

I know that I need the positive reinforcement I get from being at GA meetings which are plentiful all over the country and the world. Just Google gamblers anonymous. Call the emergency phone service or have someone call for you. People who are compulsive gamblers understand each other.

I work the 12 steps of recovery with a sponsor and at group meetings. I deal with personal defects that caused me endless pain and suffering from gambling. Only from GA can I get the strength and support of others just like me who help me through each day.

Compulsive Gamblers all share the same feelings. Only other compulsive gamblers understand each other regardless of age, nationality, beliefs or any other denominator. We are all the same because we are powerless over gambling and our lives are unmanageable. It's an easy concept to understand but tough to accept and stick with. But, thousands of men and women are recovering compulsive gamblers.

Look up Gamblers Anonymous online and find out where to call and where the local meetings are in your area. Google it. There are thousands of meetings throughout the country everyday of the year.

.There is a free, twenty four hour a day non stop helpline that can be called by anyone, anytime. Try it.

I have not gambled a penny since January 9, 2009.

If I can stop anybody can.

But, only with help.

You can only but only if you don't play.

Gambling is my deadly lover who I never intend to return to.

Compulsive gambling is the devil.

KAVANAUGH STINKS AND SHOULD BE INDICTED NOT CONFIRMED

Is Brett Kavanaugh the type of person qualified for the Supreme Court?  His problems include possible sexual misconduct,  excessive alcohol use, compulsive gambling, and unacceptable judicial temperament.

Did you see how belligerent Kavanaugh got when he was questioned. Poor preppy baby. He really got pissed at being challenged during his testimony. Maybe he needed a drink? 

Why would anyone who does not have a perfect, pristine, pure, background and personality even be considered for the lifetime position on the Supreme Court he seeks.

Seems to me that our idiot President Trump only chose Kavanaugh so he will have a justice who will  be easy on him when he gets indicted or impeached.  

Do not forget, just because Kavanaugh gets past the FBI investigation that does not mean he will get confirmed when the actual vote for his confirmation takes place,

Kavanaugh stinks to me. How about you?

COMPULSIVE GAMBLER TELLS HIS STORY

Back in 1947 my Mom and Dad had sex. I was the result and now I sit in my a little apartment almost 70 years later barely surviving. What a remarkable unforced error that act of love created.

I have had a life filled with  many wonderful benefits that most can only dream of. Yet, I have screwed it all up.

I was born into a family where there were already two older brothers twelve and thirteen years my seniors. Then, when I was only twelve daddy suddenly dropped dead leaving my two older brothers in charge of a very profitable family business which they already had been working in. My mom, myself, and the two brothers all were willed equal parts of the business with my end being entrusted to my mom till I was twenty five..

I was not a normal kid at all. I hated school and was always in trouble. I was not a bad boy just a clown and a spoiled brat. I did not care about school unlike my group of upper middle class friends who mostly went on to become lawyers and doctors. I continually flunked courses and barely graduated on time. I only cared about playing ball and gambling.

 I developed a pathological taste for gambling the first time I ever felt the rush of it. Gambling instantly became and continued to be my greatest love. That has a lot to do with why I am severely depressed, alone, and lonely most of the time.  I lost my mental health along with a fortune  Thanks to a wealthy family and a rich lover who now treats me as her child I survive nicely.

 I was about eleven when I started playing poker with my little friends. I almost always lost because I was a compulsive gambler from the get go. I was also a terrible gambler. I could not ever stop playing until I lost all my money.  I bet on horses, craps, roulette, blackjack, and sports. I gambled at everything I could .Even among other gamblers I was regarded as a chump.

 I finally surrendered to my powerlessness over gambling, quit, and started going to Gamblers Anonymous about nine years ago. I have not made a bet since 2009. Stopping gambling is my shining accomplishment of a mostly wasted life.

 Compulsive. gambling is the hardest addiction to give up. I know. I have also been addicted to cocaine, pot, alcohol, sex and overeating.. Gambling is the toughest and cruelest addiction. It is a silent destroyer.. If you refuse to stop gambling you end up insane, in jail, or dead without anyone ever knowing. The compulsive gambler must get help. One cannot stop permanantly on their own..

I never had any reservations about losing all my money because my rich mom could never say no to refilling my empty pockets after my desperate marathon crying sessions to her.. She bailed me out of debt time after time for years.

 When I was about twenty three I went into the family business .I was given a fat salary, a car, a nice office, insurance and they even paid my taxes. I should have been set for life.

 My middle brother Lou who I idolized forever because of his brains, athletic ability, popularity,  physical toughness, and total coolness set me up as a important employee. With a wave of his hand and an introduction to the gigantic staff I was a new family member to be respected.  Lou set it up so that I had all the amenities of an important businessman at my fingertips. Lou wanted me to feel good so I would be happy and make the business lots of money.

He had become my second father as soon as my dad died. Lou was always the brains of the growing and continually more successful family business.

Lou has been the ultimate perfect person to me as long as I have been alive. He loved me so much when I was a little kid and took me with him everywhere. He was a great athlete, a good looking very popular guy and smart as a whip. I idolized him. He has always been my hero. He has also always intimidated me brutally just by his presence. But, I have been trying to get his respect me entire life. He is superman to me.

 He was a great golfer and very early on made me feel that manhood and golf were synonomous. I would stand and sweat as I stood the in the tee box as he watched me dribble out one pathetic shot after another every year on my birthday when he would take me out to play. I would wait for that one day all year and then play like crap. I cannot put in words my self loathing for being incapable of hitting the ball well around him..

 I just froze as he watched me in the box. I would want to puke my guts up and throw a tantrum because of the frustration I felt walking down fairway after fairway while playing like crap. Lou never commented as I fumbled around the course.. His silent acceptance of my inability made it worse. Ironically, I was actually a very good golfer away frome his presence.
 
Lou knew I was a gambler.  He was a gambler too but not compulsive gambler like I am. I made no secret of my gambling. I was constantly telling Lou war stories of my gambling exploits. He was indifferent not knowing how sick of a gambler I really was and how much money I had been getting from my mom to cover debts and gamble with..

Mom finally busted me. She had run out of patience with my episodes of nagging and crying for cash. She explained to Lou how much of a degenerate I was. I had gone through $350,000 of her money in a few years.. I was only twenty four and also making a good salary and totally broke and in heavy debt.

Lou walked into my office, leaned over my desk and hit me in the mouth without saying a word. I fell out of my chair bleeding and looked up at him. He said "I just talked to mom"

He wrapped his his hand  around my neck and screamed that I would be fired from my cushy, no brainer, very well paid sales job in the family business and never get a dime of the equity I was going to inherit if he ever heard of me gambling again.

Then, he said the worst thing he had ever said to me. He told me that he was giving up on me forever.  He screamed that I was on my own and never look to him for anything. "We're finished", he screamed as I shook.  He spoke words I dreaded but hoped never would be spoken to me. He said that I had been a failure in everything my whole life. He said he thought I would straighten out after coming into the family business but that he was wrong.

I did not know my ownership of the business could not lawfully be confiscated.. I believed he could do anything he said he could.  I also lived for his approval with everything I did. I loved him so. Now, he had defined every fear of his opinion of me. I felt. My self esteem went to zero. I wanted his respect and admiration my whole life. I thought I had lost any chance of getting it back. I decided to try and prove myself anyway. I was determined to become a good employee and a respectable human being.

   I stopped gambling for a day or two. but I could not stay stopped.. I began stealing, lying, embezzling, and doing everything else I could think of to sneakily keep myself in action. I ended up stealing over $200.000 from the business over the next three years. Plus, I owed a fortune to friends and relatives. Also, I had started borrowing from juice men. They were chasing me and I was scared.

I finally confessed to Lou what I had done when I was terrified as the bad guys were chasing me to get paid. He said nothing. He just stared at me with the stare of a person who you are dead to. He only asked how much I owed the juice guys.. He settled with them.  Then, he pointed to the door.and did not say a word as I walked out knowing I was finished..  .

  Jack, the other brother just sat there smiling watching the whole show from his fancy desk.. Jack had always hated me and bullied me my entire life until one fateful day when he tried to intimidate me and I responded by smacking him in his big nose. From then on we never spoke in any form for the rest of his eighty two years.

He had ridden Lous coat tails his entire life..  He had gotten rich because of Lou. Jack and his family acted like Jack had made his millions with his own brains.  He was actually just window dressing who had been born right. He knew that I knew he was a fraud and I reminded him with many sarcastic remarks.

Lou was stuck with him but he never demeaned or embarrassed him because Lou did not need to do that. He was too classy.  His ego was solid as a rock as it should have been. Everyone knew that Jack would be selling shoes part time and need 10 other jobs just to make ends meet if not for Lous brains.

Everyone except Jack's three kids and loud mouth wife knew he was a\just putz.. He was in the business only because of his inheritance but his role was to do simple things only and to be quiet and be happy to live under Lou"s leadership. It always remained a mystery to myself and many others  that Lou did not figure a way to get Jack out of the business. But Lou accepted Jack as his fate.

I drove a cab, did some od jobs, and kept trying to make a score gambling with whatever money I could find. A few years passed.

Then, one night I met Julie, the girl of my dreams. I soon realized that I wanted a normal life. A few weeks after meeting Julie I walked back into the family bnusiness and into Lous office. He never looked up at me. "What?"he asked quietly. " I would like you to give me a chance and give me my job back" He stayed silent. "Please, I muttered. "I'm in love" "I need another chance" He said quietly "Go sit down and go to work". I loved him more then ever. "OK" I blurted out smiling widely. He still had not looked at me. I again believed I could make everything right with him,with Julie, and make a life. But, I still love gambling more the anything including myself.

.

Compulsive Gambling Devours Our Lives

Gambling. One of the nastiest monsters of the world. Feed it and it eats your soul. Starve it and it destroys you mind. To a real compulsive gambler the loss of gambling is good reason for perpetual mourning. Every ounce of desire in your body craves going back to gambling again. The adrenalin, the euphoria, the joy of knowing you will be in action is enough to inspire any gambler no matter how much they have lost. I am not just talking about lost money. I am talking about lost health, family, friends. Losing your whole life. I have gambled for over 50 years and lost it all. In the last few years i have quit gambling and slowly rebuilt my life. Yet, I continue to long for my greatest friend and unconditional lover. Gambling. I was a very big gambler betting on sports, craps, and blackjack. I would win or lose thousands of dollars a day. I figured out that I have lost well over a million dollars in my life. Enough to destroy me financially, mentally, and emotionally. Yet the monster inside my brain lives on unaffected. It says "you can do it David." You can set limits, avoid going out of control, and enjoy the happiness of being in action." My rational mind keeps speaking at the same time. "Go to a G.A. meeting David. You are getting false messages. You are doomed if you gamble. You know that." I do. But,the evil voice tears at my my heart and says "just do it. "You will do it right this time. It will be ok" The logical mind needs constant reinforcement to say no. The evil mind that is supported by emotion needs no nourishment. But it never is.  

A Compulsive Gamblers Tale

Gambling. One of the nastiest monsters of the world. Feed it and it eats your soul. Starve it and it destroys you mind. To a compulsive gambler the loss of gambling is good reason for perpetual mourning. Every ounce of desire in your body craves going back to gambling again. The adrenalin, the euphoria, the joy of knowing you will be in action is enough to inspire any gambler to gamble again no matter how much they have lost.

I am not just talking about lost money. I am talking about lost health, family, friends. I am talking about losing your whole life. I have gambled for over 50 years and almost lost everything. In the last five years I have quit gambling and slowly rebuilt my life. Yet, I continue to long for my greatest friend and unconditional lover. Gambling.
I was a very big gambler betting on sports, craps, blackjack. poker, and anything else I could wager on. I would win or lose thousands of dollars in one day. I figure out that I have lost well over a million dollars in my life. Enough to destroy me financially, mentally, and emotionally. But the money does not matter. It is an emotional disorder. It is an addiction that cannot be dealt with alone. Only other gamblers can help because they understand other gamblers, We are all the same. Groups are all over the country.

Still, the monster inside my brain lives on unaffected. It talks to me and says "You can do it David.". "You can set limits," "Don't go out of control, and enjoy the action. You want it." My rational mind keeps speaking at the same time. "Go to a G.A. meeting David. You are getting false messages. You are doomed if you gamble. You know that." I do know that. Now.
But, the evil voice tears at my my heart and says "just do it. "You will do it right this time. It will be OK." My logical mind needs constant reinforcement to tell me "No. Do not gamble, David" The evil gambling mind that is supported by emotion needs no nourishment. It never does..

The mind of a compulsive gambler will carry the compulsive gambling disease forever. That is the bad news. The good news is that there is help twenty four hours a day all year long in every state. There is a national hotline, website, and email address below to contact. You are not alone. There are millions of gamblers and many are able to stop, one day at a time, and change their lives..
I just celebrated my fifth year of abstinence. I have done a world of things in my 65 years of life. But none as big as stopping gambling. Everyone who cares about me knows that. I had never in the past been aware of family, friends, situations, or any the regular life experiences non-gamblers enjoy. My mind was always focused on how fast i could back into action again. Now, I pay attention to people, I'm not in a hurry to finish any activity, I am much more patient, kind, and empathetic. I am in the here and now..
So, the hardest thing for a gambler to accept is that he can never gamble again. That is too difficult to absorb immediately. But, the Gamblers Anonymous program is based on not gambling one day at a time. That is easier to accept.
The main thing is to recognize the problem. There is a whole segment of G.A for the friends and family who care about helping the gambler. It is an organization called Gam-Anon. There are Gam-Anon meetings all over even if the gambler them self will not come to a meeting.. The number is 718-352-1672 email gamanonoffice@gam-anon.org. Website http://www.gam-anon.org/

GAMBLER. GET HELP

Call 626 960-3500 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Or, go to the website www.gamblersanonymous.org

email isomain@gamblersanonymous.org
Thanks for allowing me to share this with you.

i hope it helps you..

Take a step forward.

Close

Compulsive Gambling: The Unconditional Lover

Gambling. One of the nastiest monsters of the world. Feed it and it eats your soul. Starve it and it destroys your mind. To a compulsive gambler the loss of gambling is good reason for perpetual mourning. Every ounce of desire in your body craves going back to gambling again.
The adrenalin, the euphoria, the joy of knowing you will be in action is enough to inspire any gambler to go back no matter how much they have lost. I am not just talking about lost money. I am talking about lost health, family, friends. Losing your whole life.
I have gambled for over 50 years and lost it all. In the last few years i have quit gambling and slowly rebuilt my life.

Yet, I continue to long for my greatest friend and unconditional lover. Gambling. I was a very big gambler betting on sports, craps, and blackjack. I would win or lose thousands of dollars a day. I figured out that I have lost well over a million dollars in my life.
Enough to destroy me financially, mentally, and emotionally. Yet the monster inside my brain lives on unaffected. It says "You can do it David." You can set limits,you can avoid going out of control, and enjoy the happiness of being in action."

My rational mind keeps speaking at the same time. "Go to a G.A. meeting David. You are getting false messages. You are doomed if you gamble. You know that."
I do. But,the evil voice tears at my my heart and says "just do it. "You will do it right this time. It will be OK

The logical mind needs constant reinforcement to say no. The evil mind that is supported by emotion needs no nourishment. It never starves and is endlessly patient.
Look up Gamblers Anonymous online and find out where to call and where the local meetings are in your area..

I have not gambled a penny since January 9, 2009.
If I can stop anybody can..

You do it one day at a time.


You can only win if you don't play..